[Illustration:  Our Correspondent in an Elevated Position.]

2 P.M.—­Have rejoined the Oniononi, coming hither by ricochet on a spent shell.  The people are entirely with them, and cheer at every fresh evidence of destruction.  Found a well-known shopkeeper in ecstasies over the ruins of his establishment.  He said that, “Although the revolution might be bad for trade, it would do good, as things wanted waking up.”  A slaughter of police and railway officials, which has just been carried out with infinite spirit, seems to be immensely popular.  If you don’t get this, make immediate complaint.  Don’t accept, as an excuse, that the wires have been cut, and the office razed to the ground.  They can get it through, if they like.

4 P.M.—­Just heard a report that I myself have been killed and buried.  As I can get no corroboration of this statement, I publish it under reservation.  I confine myself to saying that it may be true, although I have my doubts upon the subject.

6 P.M.—­It seems (as I imagined) that the report of my death and funeral is a canard.  This shows how necessary it is to test the truth of every item of information before hurrying off to the Telegraph Office.  Efforts are now being made to bring about a reconciliation between the contending parties.

8 P.M.—­The revolution is over.  When both sides had exhausted their ammunition, peace naturally became a necessity.  The contending parties are now dining together, al fresco, as the town is in ruins.  Nothing more to add save, All’s well that ends well!

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH’S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

WORKMEN’S.

"Merry Christmas to you, Sir, and many on ’em!” i.e., “Have you got that half-crown handy?”

IN THE SMOKING-ROOM.

"Quite so; but then, you see, that’s not my point;” i.e., “It was, ten minutes ago.”

"Yes, but allow me one moment;” i.e., “Kindly give me your close attention for twenty-five minutes.”

SOCIAL.

"Not your fault, indeed!  Mine for having so long a train;” i.e., “Awkward toad!”

"Where did you get that lovely dress, dear?” i.e., “That I may avoid that dress-maker.”

THEATRICAL.

"Whose talents have been seen to better advantage:”  i.e., “A cruel bad actor—­but can’t say so.”

"When the nervousness of a first night has been got over;” i.e., “Never saw a worse play—­but it may catch on.”

"The Author’s modesty prevented him from responding to loud calls;” i.e., “Timid youth, probably.  Foresaw brickbats.”

* * * * *

“BRAVO, TORO!”—­M.  CONSTANS will not allow Bull-fighting in Paris, even for “the benefit of the Martinique sufferers.”  Quite right!  But if he would only discourage “Bull-fighting” in Egypt—­the sort of “Bull-fighting” desired by Chauvinist M. DELONCLE—­he would do good service to the land of the Pyramids, to the poor fellah, and to civilisation.