7.  Should a cotillon be danced, guests will provide their own presents, which will become the perquisites of the host and hostess.

8, and lastly.  Should the above rules, compiled in the interest of leaders of Society, be insufficient to keep party-givers from appearing in the Court of Bankruptcy, guests who have partaken of any hospitality will be expected to contribute a gratuity, to enable the Official Receiver to declare a small and final dividend.

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PERQUISITES.—­“Nice thing to belong to National Liberal Club,” observed Mr. G., who didn’t dine at that establishment for nothing, “because, you see, they go in there for ‘Perks.’”

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“NOBLESSE OBLIGE!”

(Latest Reading.)

Noblesse oblige! And what’s the obligation, Read in the light of recent demonstration?  A member of “our old Nobility” May be “obliged,” at times, to play the spy, Lay traps for fancied frailty, disenthrall “Manhood” by “playing for” a woman’s fall; Redeem the wreckage of a “noble” name By building hope on sin, and joy on shame; Redress the work of passion’s reckless boldness By craven afterthoughts of cynic coldness; Purge from low taint “the blood of all the HOWARDS” By borrowings from the code of cads and cowards! Noblesse oblige? Better crass imbecility Of callow youth—­with pluck—­than such “nobility”!

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HOME-ING.—­Dr. BARNARDO’S delightfully simple plan of getting a little boy to sign an affidavit to the effect that he was so happy at Dr. BARNARDO’S Home, Sweet Home, and that, wherever he might wander, there was really no place on earth like Dr. BARNARDO’S Home, may remind Dickensian students of a somewhat analogous method apparently adopted by Mr. Squeers when, on his welcome return to Dotheboys Hall, he publicly announced that “he had seen the parents of some boys, and they’re so glad to hear how their sons are getting on, that there’s no prospect at all of their going away, which, of course, is a very pleasant thing to reflect upon for all parties.”  The conduct of such parents or relatives who send children or permit them to be sent to Dr. BARNARDO’S Home, Sweet Home, where, at all events, they are well fed and cared for, bears some resemblance to that of Graymarsh’s maternal aunt, who was “short of money, but sends a tract instead, and hopes that Graymarsh will put his trust in Providence,” and also to that of Mobb’s “mother-in-law,” who was so disgusted with her stepson’s conduct (for DICKENS meant step-mother when he wrote “mother-in-law”—­an odd lapsus calami never subsequently corrected) that she “stopped his halfpenny a-week pocket-money, and had given a double-bladed knife with a corkscrew in it to the Missionaries, which she had bought on purpose for him.”  We don’t blame Dr. BARNARDO—­much; but we do blame these weak-knee’d parents and guardians, who apparently don’t know their own minds.  In the recent case which was sarcastically treated by the Judge, Dr. B. found that he could buy GOULD too dear.