As tone is the expression of attitude, it is, of course, caused by attitude.  The frictional tone is chiefly due to that general attitude of blame which I have already condemned as being absurd and unjustifiable.  As, by constant watchful discipline, we gradually lose this silly attitude of blame, so the tone will of itself gradually change.  But the two ameliorations can proceed together, and it is a curious thing that an agreeable tone, artificially and deliberately adopted, will influence the mental attitude almost as much as the mental attitude will influence the tone.  If you honestly feel resentful against some one, but, having understood the foolishness of fury, intentionally mask your fury under a persuasive tone, your fury will at once begin to abate.  You will be led into a rational train of thought; you will see that after all the object of your resentment has a right to exist, and that he is neither a doormat nor a scoundrel, and that anyhow nothing is to be gained, and much is to be lost, by fury.  You will see that fury is unworthy of you.

Do you remember the gentleness of the tone which you employed after the healing of your first quarrel with a beloved companion?  Do you remember the persuasive tone which you used when you wanted to obtain something from a difficult person on whom your happiness depended?  Why should not your tone always combine these qualities?  Why should you not carefully school your tone?  Is it beneath you to ensure the largest possible amount of your own ‘way’ by the simplest means?  Or is there at the back of your mind that peculiarly English and German idea that politeness, sympathy, and respect for another immortal soul would imply deplorable weakness on your part?  You say that your happiness does not depend on every person whom you happen to speak to.  Yes, it does.  Your happiness is always dependent on just that person.  Produce friction, and you suffer.  Idle to argue that the person has no business to be upset by your tone!  You have caused avoidable friction, simply because your machine for dealing with your environment was suffering from pride, ignorance, or thoughtlessness.  You say I am making a mountain out of a mole-hill.  No!  I am making a mountain out of ten million mole-hills.  And that is what life does.  It is the little but continuous causes that have great effects.  I repeat:  Why not deliberately adopt a gentle, persuasive tone—­just to see what the results are?  Surely you are not ashamed to be wise.  You may smile superiorly as you read this.  Yet you know very well that more than once you have resolved to use a gentle and persuasive tone on all occasions, and that the sole reason why you had that fearful shindy yesterday with your cousin’s sister-in-law was that you had long since failed to keep your resolve.  But you were of my mind once, and more than once.