O had she but been of a lower degree,
     I then might hae hop’d she wad smil’d upon me! 
     O how past descriving had then been my bliss,
     As now my distraction nae words can express.

The Rights Of Woman

     An Occasional Address.

     Spoken by Miss Fontenelle on her benefit night, November 26, 1792.

     While Europe’s eye is fix’d on mighty things,
     The fate of Empires and the fall of Kings;
     While quacks of State must each produce his plan,
     And even children lisp the Rights of Man;
     Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention,
     The Rights of Woman merit some attention.

     First, in the Sexes’ intermix’d connection,
     One sacred Right of Woman is, protection.—­
     The tender flower that lifts its head, elate,
     Helpless, must fall before the blasts of Fate,
     Sunk on the earth, defac’d its lovely form,
     Unless your shelter ward th’ impending storm.

     Our second Right—­but needless here is caution,
     To keep that right inviolate’s the fashion;
     Each man of sense has it so full before him,
     He’d die before he’d wrong it—­’tis decorum.—­
     There was, indeed, in far less polish’d days,
     A time, when rough rude man had naughty ways,
     Would swagger, swear, get drunk, kick up a riot,
     Nay even thus invade a Lady’s quiet.

     Now, thank our stars! those Gothic times are fled;
     Now, well-bred men—­and you are all well-bred—­
     Most justly think (and we are much the gainers)
     Such conduct neither spirit, wit, nor manners.

     For Right the third, our last, our best, our dearest,
     That right to fluttering female hearts the nearest;
     Which even the Rights of Kings, in low prostration,
     Most humbly own—­’tis dear, dear admiration! 
     In that blest sphere alone we live and move;
     There taste that life of life—­immortal love. 
     Smiles, glances, sighs, tears, fits, flirtations, airs;
     ’Gainst such an host what flinty savage dares,
     When awful Beauty joins with all her charms—­
     Who is so rash as rise in rebel arms?

     But truce with kings, and truce with constitutions,
     With bloody armaments and revolutions;
     Let Majesty your first attention summon,
     Ah! ca ira!  The Majesty Of Woman!

Epigram On Seeing Miss Fontenelle In A Favourite Character

     Sweet naivete of feature,
     Simple, wild, enchanting elf,
     Not to thee, but thanks to Nature,
     Thou art acting but thyself.

     Wert thou awkward, stiff, affected,
     Spurning Nature, torturing art;
     Loves and Graces all rejected,
     Then indeed thou’d’st act a part.

Extempore On Some Commemorations Of Thomson