The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 06 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 302 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 06.

The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 06 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 302 pages of information about The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 06.

But Wood is still working underhand to force his halfpence upon us, and if he can by help of his friends in England prevail so far as to get an order that the commissioners and collectors of the King’s money shall receive them, and that the army is to be paid with them, then he thinks his work shall be done.  And this is the difficulty you will be under in such a case.  For the common soldier when he goes to the market or alehouse will offer this money, and if it be refused, perhaps he will swagger and hector, and threaten to beat the butcher or alewife, or take the goods by force, and throw them the bad halfpence.  In this and the like cases, the shopkeeper or victualler, or any other tradesman has no more to do, than to demand ten times the price of his goods, if it is to be paid in Wood’s money; for example, twenty-pence of that money for a quart of ale, and so in all things else, and not part with his goods till he gets the money.

For suppose you go to an alehouse with that base money, and the landlord gives you a quart for four of these halfpence, what must the victualler do?  His brewer will not be paid in that coin, or if the brewer should be such a fool, the farmers will not take it from them for their bere,[19] because they are bound by their leases to pay their rents in good and lawful money of England, which this is not, nor of Ireland neither, and the ’squire their landlord will never be so bewitched to take such trash for his land, so that it must certainly stop somewhere or other, and wherever it stops it is the same thing, and we are all undone.

[Footnote 19:  Bere = barley.  Cf.  A.S. baerlic, Icelandic, barr, meaning barley, the grain used for making malt for the preparation of beer. [T.S.]]

The common weight of these halfpence is between four and five to an ounce, suppose five, then three shillings and fourpence will weigh a pound, and consequently twenty shillings will weigh six pound butter weight.  Now there are many hundred farmers who pay two hundred pound a year rent.  Therefore when one of these farmers comes with his half-year’s rent, which is one hundred pound, it will be at least six hundred pound weight, which is three horse load.

If a ’squire has a mind to come to town to buy clothes and wine and spices for himself and family, or perhaps to pass the winter here; he must bring with him five or six horses loaden with sacks as the farmers bring their corn; and when his lady comes in her coach to our shops, it must be followed by a car loaden with Mr. Wood’s money.  And I hope we shall have the grace to take it for no more than it is worth.

They say ’Squire Conolly[20] has sixteen thousand pounds a year, now if he sends for his rent to town, as it is likely he does, he must have two hundred and forty horses to bring up his half-year’s rent, and two or three great cellars in his house for stowage.  But what the bankers will do I cannot tell.  For I am assured, that some great bankers keep by them forty thousand pounds in ready cash to answer all payments, which sum, in Mr. Wood’s money, would require twelve hundred horses to carry it.

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The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 06 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.