“Official reports at the Naval Academy are always true,” retorted Paulson severely.  “Proceed, sir, to the comments which the ink-slinger of the ‘Bazoo’ has made concerning you.  Mister, read the paragraph numbered ‘one.’”

In a voice that shook a trifle Dave read: 

"Dave Darrin is, beyond any question or cavil, one of the brightest, smartest, bravest and most popular boys who ever went forth into the world as a true son of old Gridley."

“Mister,” declared Paulson, “you may gloss over some of the slander in those words by singing them to the tune of ‘Yankee Doodle.’”

Dave flushed.  There was a momentary flash in his eyes.  Dan, watching his chum covertly, was briefly certain that Darrin was going to balk.  Perhaps he would even fight.

True hazing, however, does not aim at cruelty, but at teaching a new man to obey, no matter how absurd the order.

In another moment the grim lines around the corners of Dave’s mouth softened to a grin.

“Wipe off that ha-ha look, mister!” warned Youngster Paulson.

“I’ll sing, gentlemen, if you think you can stand it,” Dave promised.

“You’ll sing, mister, because you’ve been ordered to do so,” reported Paulson as master of ceremonies.  “Now, then, let us have that paragraph to the air of ‘Yankee Doodle.’”

Dave obeyed.  To do him justice, he sang the best that he knew how, but that wasn’t saying much for quality.  Dave had a good voice for a leader of men, but a poor one for a singer.

Somehow, he got through the ordeal.

“Now, cast your eye on the paragraph marked as number two,” directed Mr. Paulson.  “Mister, the ‘Bazoo’ in your left hand.  Thrust your right hand in under the front of your blouse and strike the attitude popularly ascribed to Daniel Webster.  No comedy, either, mister; give us a serious impersonation, sir!”

This was surely rubbing it in, but Dave gave his best in attitude and pose.

“Effective!” murmured Midshipman Jones.  “Very!

“Superb!” voiced Mr. Hurlburt.

“Now, for the declamation, mister, of paragraph number two,” commanded Youngster Paulson.

In a deep voice, and with a ring that was meant to be convincing,
Dave read the paragraph: 

"Since a school consists of pupils as well as of instructors, the brightest student minds may be said to make the life and history of a famous school.  It has been so with our justly famous Gridley High School.  Mr. Darrin, in the past, has aided in establishing many of the traditions of the famous school that claims him as her own son.  The young man’s heroism at Annapolis, under the most exacting conditions, will surprise no one who knows either Mr. Darrin or the splendid traditions that he helped establish among the youth of his home town.  In the years to come we may look confidently forward to hearing the name of Darrin as one of the most famous among the newer generation of the United States Navy.  David Darrin will always be a hero—­because he cannot help it."