clock—­you know it’s the only ’luminated church clock in the district, sir, and the clock was just on eleven, sir, and I waited for it to strike, sir, and it didn’t strike.  My feet was rooted to the spot, sir, but no, that clock didn’t strike, and then all of a sudden it rushed over me about that young woman asking me all about the tower and the clock and telling me as her young man was so interested in church-towers and he wanted to go up, and would I lend her the keys of the tower-door because Milcher always gives me the bunch of church-keys to keep for him while he goes into the Horse and Groom public-house, sir, him not caring to take church keys into a public-house.  He’s rather particular, sir.  They are, especially when they’re sacristans.  It rushed over me, and I says to myself, ‘Bolsheviks,’ and I thought I should have swounded, but I didn’t.”

Mr. Prohack had to make an effort in order to maintain his self-control, for the mumblings of the fat lady were producing in him the most singular and the most disturbing sensations.

“If there’s any tea left in the pot,” said he, “I think I’ll have it.”

“And welcome, sir,” replied the fat lady.  “But there’s only one cup.  But I have but hardly drunk out of it, sir.”

Mr. Prohack first of all went to the door, transferred the key from the outside to the inside, and locked the door.  Then he drank the dregs of the tea out of the sole cup; and seeing a packet of Mr. Brool’s Gold Flake cigarettes on the mahogany sideboard, he ventured to help himself to one.

“Yes, sir,” resumed the fat lady.  “I nearly swounded, and I couldn’t feel happy no more until I’d made a clean breast of it all to Milcher.  And I was setting off for Milcher when it struck me all of a heap as I’d promised the young lady with the turned-up nose as I wouldn’t say nothing about the keys to nobody.  It was very awkward for me, sir, me being converted and anxious to do right, and not knowing which was right and which was wrong.  But a promise is a promise whether you’re converted or not—­that I do hold.  Anyhow I says to myself I must see Milcher and tell him the clock hadn’t struck eleven, and I prayed as hard as I could for heavenly guidance, and I was just coming down the Square on my way to Milcher’s when who should I see get out of a taxi and run into this house but that young lady and her young man.  I said in my haste that was an answer to prayer, sir, but I’m not so sure now as I wasn’t presuming too much.  I could see there was something swanky a-going on here and I said to myself, ’That young lady’s gone in.  She’ll come out again; she’s one of the gues’s, she is,’ I said, ’and him too, and I’ll wait till she does come out and then I’ll catch her and have it out with her even if it means policemen.’  And the area-gate being unfastened, I slipped down the area-steps, sir, with my eye on the front-door.  And that was what did me.  I had to sit down on the stone steps, sir, because of my varicose veins and then one of the servants comes in from the street, sir, and I more like dropped down the area-steps, sir, than walked, sir, and hid between two dustbins, and when the coast was clear I went up again and found gate locked and nothing doing.  And it’s as true as I’m standing here—­sitting, I should say.”