Mr. Middleman (to the Amiable Spectator, who has been vaguely inspecting the “Pill-taker.") Don’t know if you noticed it, Sir, but I got that last couple very cheap—­on’y forty-seven guineas the pair, and they are worth eighty, I solemnly declare to you.  I could get forty a-piece for ’em to-morrow, upon my word and honour, I could.  Ah, and I know who’d give it me for ’em, too!

The A.S. (sympathetically).  Dear me, then you’ve done very well over it.

Mr. M. Ah, well ain’t the word—­and those two aren’t the only lots I’ve got either.  That “Sandwich-Man” over there is mine—­look at the work in those boards, and the nature in his clay pipe; and “The Boot-Black,” that’s mine, too—­all worth twice what I got ’em for—­and lovely things, too, ain’t they?

The A.S. Oh, very nice, very clever—­congratulate you, I’m sure.

Mr. M. I can see you’ve took a fancy to ’em, Sir, and, when I come across a gentleman that’s a connysewer, I’m always sorry to stand in his light; so, see here, you can have any one you like out o’ my little lot, or all on ’em, with all the pleasure in the wide world, Sir, and I’ll on’y charge you five per cent. on what I gave for ’em. and be exceedingly obliged to you, into the bargain, Sir. (The A.S. feebly disclaims any desire to take advantage of this magnanimous offer.) Don’t say No, if you mean Yes, Sir.  Will you ’ave the “Pill-taker,” Sir?

The A.S. (politely).  Thank you very much, but—­er—­I think not.

Mr. M. Then perhaps you could do with “The Little Boot-Black,” or “The Sandwich-Man,” Sir?

The A.S. Perhaps—­but I could do still better without them.

    [He moves to another part of the room.

The Obl.  Broker (whispering beerily in his ear).  Seen anythink yet as takes your fancy, Sir; ’cos, if so—­

    [The A.S. escapes to a dark corner—­where he is warmly
    welcomed by Mr. MIDDLEMAN.

Mr. M. Knew you’d think better on it, Sir.  Now which is it to be—­the “Boot-Black,” or “Mixture as Before”?

Auct. Now we come to Lot 19.  Massive fluted column in coral marble with revolving-top—­a column, Gentlemen, which will speak for itself.

The Facetious Bidder (after a scrutiny).  Then it may as well mention, while it’s about it, that it’s got a bit out of its back!

Auct. Flaw in the marble, that’s all. (To Assist.) Nothing the matter with the column, is there?

Assist. (with reluctant candour).  Well, it ’as got a little chipped, Sir.

Auct. (easily).  Oh, very well then, we’ll sell it “A.F.”  Very glad it was found out in time, I’m sure.

    [Bidding proceeds.