HILDEGARDE (without looking round).  Stay you with chocolates, you mean, Johnnie, dear.

JOHN.  There you are!  Her thoughts fly instantly to chocolates—­and in the fourth year of the greatest war that the world—­

HILDEGARDE.  Etcetera, etcetera.

TRANTO.  Then do I gather that you don’t entirely approve of your sister’s articles?

JOHN.  Tripe, I think.  My fag could write better.  I’ll tell you what I do approve of.  I approve of that article to-day by that chap Sampson Straight about titles and the shameful traffic in honours, and the rot of the hereditary principle, and all that sort of thing.

TRANTO.  I’m glad.  Delivers the goods, doesn’t he, Mr. Sampson Straight?

JOHN.  Well, I think so.  Who is he?

TRANTO.  One of my discoveries, John.  He sent me in an article about—­let me see, when was it?—­about eight months ago.  I at once perceived that in Mr. Sampson Straight I had got on to a bit of all right.  And I was not mistaken.  He has given London beans pretty regularly once a week ever since.

JOHN.  He must have given the War Cabinet neuralgia this afternoon, anyhow.  I should like to meet him.

TRANTO.  I’m afraid that’s impossible.

JOHN.  Is it?  Why?

TRANTO.  Well, I haven’t met him myself yet.  He lives at a quiet country place in Cornwall.  Hermit, I believe.  Hates any kind of publicity.  Absolutely refuses to be photographed.

JOHN.  Photographed!  I should think not!  But couldn’t you get him to come and lecture at school?  We have frightful swells, you know.

TRANTO.  I expect you do.  But he wouldn’t come.

JOHN.  I wish he would.  We had a debate the other Saturday night on,
Should the hereditary principle be abolished?

TRANTO.  And did you abolish it?

JOHN.  Did we abolish it?  I should say we did.  Eighty-five to twenty-one. 
Some debate, believe me!

HILDEGARDE (looking round).  Yes, but didn’t you tell us once that in your Debating Society the speakers always tossed for sides beforehand?

JOHN (shrugging his shoulders.  More confidentially to Tranto).  As I was saying, I’m going to read the papers in future, as part of my scheme.  And d’you know what the scheme is? (Impressively.) I’ve decided to take up a political career.

TRANTO.  Good!

JOHN.  Yes, it was during that hereditary principle debate that I decided.  It came over me all of a sudden while I was on the last lap of my speech and the fellows were cheering.  And so I want to understand first of all the newspaper situation in London.  There are one or two things about it I don’t understand.

TRANTO.  Not more?  I can explain the newspaper situation to you in ten words.  You know I’ve got a lot of uncles.  I daresay I’ve got more uncles than anybody else in ‘Who’s Who.’  Well, I own The Echo,—­inherited it from my father.  My uncles own all the rest of the press—­(airily) with a few trifling exceptions.  That’s the London newspaper situation.  Quite simple, isn’t it?