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EPIGRAMS.

“Upon his arrival at Perthshire, his Majesty is to be received by a band of two hundred men, entirely of the Mac clan, arrayed in the ancient national costume.”—­Scotsman.

  In Scotia our king’s to be blessed with a treat,
  A balleting one if the Scotch have their nacks,
  For the papers put forth he’s at Perthshire to meet,
  Dressed in tartan and bonnet, a band of all “Macs." (Almacks.)

  Which wert thou, cruel Bishop Bonner,
    A savage wit, or senseless noddy,
  When to extinguish Ridley’s faith,
    Thou mad’st a bonfire of his body?

Disdain’d by the Helen he fondly had wooed, A love-stricken swain in a region campestris, Thus “clerkly” gave vent to his sorrowful mood, Ah! vota si mea valissent cum Vestris![3]

  Ah me! what foggy thoughts environ
  The man that reads Gait’s “Life of Byron.”
  —­Hudibras parodied.

  “What pens doth Galt in general use?”
  To Farthing thus said Simon Shark;
  “Mostly the Nocto-Polygraph,
  Or pen that writes Sir—­in the dark.”

PUN-ICUS.

    [3] Vide Certamen Ajacis et Ulyssis. Ovid’s Met.

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PARLIAMENTARY ABSTINENCE.

Perhaps it is not generally known, and certainly not generally attended to, that an act of parliament was made in the reign of Edward III. prohibiting any one from being served, at dinner or supper, with more than two courses; except upon some great holidays there specified, in which he may be served with three.  This act has never been repealed.

J.J.C.

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ANTICIPATORY EPITAPH.

(To the Editor.)

Connected with Leeds, Kent, mentioned in No. 461 of The Mirror, I beg leave to inform you, that in the village churchyard, near the castle, is a rather singular inscription upon a grave-stone, which was put up by the deceased during his life time; and when I first saw it, had blanks, for inserting his age and the time of his death.  These blanks have long since been filled up, and the whole now reads as follows:—­

“In memory of James Barham, of this parish, who departed this life Jan. 14, 1818, aged 93 years; and who, from the year 1774 to the year 1804, rung, in Kent and elsewhere, 112 peals, not less than 5,040 changes in each peal, and called bobs, &c. for most of the peals; and April 7th and 8th, 1761, assisted in ringing 40,320 bob-majors, on Leeds-bells, in 27 hours.”

R. ROFFE.

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