and the oesophagus formed the medium of communication
between the patient and myself. Having taken
a pinch of snuff, I was about to give my other infallible
remedy a fair trial, when the patient opened his eyes.
But, gracious heaven! what eyes! The visual orb
was swoln, blood-shot, troubled and intolerably dull.
At the same moment, some incoherent expressions fell
from the unfortunate gentleman. After a reference
to the kidneys, he seemed to wish for something to
be found in the coal-hole, or the cider-cellar;
but the search of the servant below stairs was unavailing.
I now began to apprehend delirium. To be sure
of the state of his mind, I inquired if there were
any clergyman whom he would wish to see: He exclaimed,
“O venerable old Offley!” But when I expressed
to the servants a wish that this reverend gentleman
might be sent for, they assured me that they had never
heard of him! The patient then muttered some
inarticulate sounds, and turned on his side. This
position being favourable for my original operation
of rubbing, I slit up the back of his coat, waistcoat,
and all other vestmental impediments, and smartly applied
a solution of tartarised antimony along the
course of the spine. The effect was instantaneous
on the alimentary canal, and a griping in the transverse
arch of the colon well nigh put a full stop
to the patient’s sufferings. The ductus
communis choledochus again deluged the stomach,
and with the customary consequences. The scene
now, became almost insupportable. An aged nurse,
who had, from the infancy of the patient, been his
domestic, declared that she could hold out no longer.
Poor creature! the tear of affection glistened in
her eye; while her convulsed features betrayed uncontrollable
sensations. It was a struggle between the heart
and the stomach: the heart, remained true, but
the stomach turned. At this the patient commenced
cursing, swearing, and blaspheming, in a way which
will be found fully detailed with all due dashes —!
—! —! &c. &c. in the last number of
a Northern magazine. “Zounds!” cried
he, starting up on his seant—“Who
are you? who sent for you? May the fiends catch
you and cleave to you for ever! Give us the hips!
a small glass of brandy! ha! ha! ha! O my back!
D—n all doctors! Here am I stung and
tortured with gastritis, hepatitis, splenitis,
nephritis, epistaxis, odontalgia, cardialgia, diarhoea,
and a whole legion of devils with Latin names!
D—n all doctors again, say I!” And
with this exclamation, he hurled a curious crown of
crockery at my head, which fitted on so tightly, that
only by breaking it, could I disengage myself from
the delfic diadem. I hastily ran down stairs,
and, meeting the man of six and forty in the passage,
I inquired of him very minutely concerning the state
of his master. He answered all my questions with
perfect candour, and not without a certain archness
of look and manner rather unusual among men of six