According to the Bishop of Manchester there is a shortage of curates.  A spinster writes to say that she is not surprised, considering how quickly they get snapped up.

***

With reference to the burglar who made off with the jewels of ex-Queen AMELIE, it is said that the fellow contemplates in future styling himself on his visiting-cards as “Housebreaker to the ex-Queen of Portugal.”

***

A weekly paper states that if every soldier who served in France during the War would place all the letters he had received in a line they would reach a little more than once round the world.  We hear, however, that, as the present addresses of several demobilised men are unknown, the feat will not be attempted.

***

“Between ten and fifteen thousand years ago,” says Professor Keith, “Scotland became fit for habitation.”  We ourselves should not have assigned so remote a date to the introduction of whisky into that country.

***

“There is no place like home,” says a gossip-writer.  This seems to indicate that spring cleaning has started at his residence.

***

“It isn’t every year we celebrate peace,” says a correspondent in a weekly paper.  The usual custom, of course, is to celebrate peace about once every war.

***

“A Pretty Way to Pat Butter” is the heading of one of a contemporary’s “Household Hints.”  They will never improve on the old-fashioned custom of slapping it heartily on the bread.

***

“People will be able to have their strawberries and cream this summer,” said an official of the Food Ministry the other day.  Still, for association’s sake it is thought that the conventional description, “Marrows and Milk,” will be retained on the menus.

***

Professor Leonard Hill says that people working in gas factories who have to breathe poison fumes suffer less from influenza than anyone else.  It is thought that this opinion may give a serious set-back to the Garden City movement.

***

“Hens like artificial light,” says Professor Rice, of Cornell University, “and if provided with it will lay through the winter.”  One enterprising gas company, we understand, is already advertising that no fowl-house can be regarded as adequately furnished without its egg-in-the-slot meter.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  The first prohibition tipsy-Cake in dead man’s gulch, U.S.A.]

* * * * *

“L5.—­Church, nicely situated Gothic structure, sliding roofs.  No ground-rent.  Pulpit, Font, Lectern, Organ, Parson, Choir Boys, Bells; fully seated; electric light, bells, &c.”—­Provincial Paper.

It seems a nice cheap lot.  The parson alone must be worth the money.