“And some of the folks drummed up the brass band, and it led off, with Major Slott following, carrying an American flag hung with roses.  Then came the clergy in carriages, followed by the Masons and Odd Fellows and Knights of Pythias.  And the Young Men’s Christian Association turned out with the Sons of Temperance, about forty strong, in full regalia.  And General Trumps pranced along on a white horse ahead of the Millburg Guards.  After them came the judges on foot, followed by the City Council and the employes of the gas-works, and the members of the Bible Society and Patriotic Sons of America.  Then came citizens walking two and two, afoot, while a big crowd of men and boys brought up the rear.

“The band, mind you, all this time playing the most gorgeous music—­’Star-Spangled Banner,’ ‘Life on the Ocean Wave,’ ’Beautiful Dreamer,’ ‘Home Again,’ and all those things, with cymbals and Jenkins’ colored man spreading himself on the big drum.  And Bill never knew anything about it.  It was a perfect surprise to him.  And when the procession stopped in front of his house, they gave him three cheers, and he came rushing out on the porch to see what all the noise was about.  As soon as he appeared the band struck up ’See, the Conquering Hero Comes,’ and Major Slott lowered the flag, and General Trumps waved his hat, and the guard fired a salute, and everybody cheered.

“Bill bowed and made a little speech, and said how honored he was by such a demonstration, and he said he felt certain of victory, and when he was in office he would do his best to serve his fellow-citizens faithfully.  Bill thought it was a political serenade; and when he got through, General Trumps cried,

“‘Bring out the twins.’

“Bill looked puzzled for a minute, and then he says,

“‘I don’t think I understand you.  What d’you say?’

“‘Bring out the twins,’ said Judge Twiddler.  ’Less look at ’em.’

“‘Twins!’ says Bill.  ‘Twins!  Why, what d’ye mean, judge?’

“’Why, the twins.  Rush ’em out.  Hold ’em in the window, so’s we can see ’em,’ said Major Slott.

“‘Gentlemen,’ said Bill, ’there must be some little, some slight mistake respecting the—­that is, you must have been misinformed about the—­the—­er—­er—­Why, there are no twins about this house.’

“Then they thought he was joking, and the band broke in with ’Listen to the Mocking-bird,’ and Bill came down to find out the drift of Judge Twiddler’s remarks.  And when he really convinced them that there wasn’t a twin anywhere about the place, you never saw a worse disgusted crowd in your life.  Mad as fury.  They said they had no idea Bill Slocum would descend to such trickery as that.

“So they broke up.  The judge went back to the court-room so indignant he sentenced a prisoner for twenty years, when the law only allowed him to give ten.  The supervisors, they took their spite out by docking the school-teachers half a day and cutting off the cranberry sauce from the turkey dinner at the jail.  General Trumps got drunk as an owl.  The City Councils held an adjourned meeting and raised the water rent on Slocum, and Jenkins’ nigger burst in the head of the big drum with a brick.  Mad’s no word for it.  They were wild with rage.