When they reached the cemetery, Rev. Dr. Dox delivered a most affecting discourse; and when all was over, and Mr. and Mrs. Banger had wiped away their tears, they went slowly home, sorrowful, of course, but somewhat glad that the long suspense was ended.

As Mr. Banger entered his sitting-room he saw a lady reposing in front of the fire, with her back toward him, toasting her toes.  Before he had time to speak she looked around, and he was amazed to perceive that it was his dead-and-buried aunt.  He was a little frightened at first, but in a moment he summoned up courage enough to ask,

“Why, how did you get here?”

“I came on the train, of course.”

“Yes, I know; but how did you get out of the cemetery?”

“Cemetery?  What cemetery?  I haven’t been in any cemetery!”

“Not been in the cemetery!  Why, either I buried you an hour ago, or I am the worst mistaken man on earth.”

“Mr. Banger, what do you mean?  This is a curious sort of a jest.”

Then Banger explained the situation to her; and as she solemnly protested that she had not been in Elmira, Banger was about to conclude that he had been the victim of a joke, when it suddenly occurred to him that maybe it was the aunt of Professor Banger.  He sent out to investigate the matter, and found that the conjecture was correct.  And when Professor Banger heard about it, he became very angry, and he entered suit against the lawyer Banger for embezzling his aunt.  Then Lawyer Banger sued the professor for the express charges and the funeral expenses, and for a time it looked as if that eccentric and roving old lady would be the cause of infinite trouble; but the difficulty was finally compromised by the lawyer Banger accepting half the amount of his expenses.

* * * * *

Professor Banger was originally a telegraph-operator, but some years ago he saved up a small sum of money, with which he constructed a balloon.  Then he tacked “professor” to his name, and began to devote himself to science and the show business.  His account of one of his recent excursions is not only entertaining, but it proves that he is an ardent student of natural phenomena.  He said to me,

“We went up at Easton, Pennsylvania; Conly, Jones and myself, and it was the finest trip I ever took.  Perfectly splendid!  We got the balloon full about twelve o’clock, and the crowd held her down until we were ready.  Then I gave the word and they let go, and we went a-humming into the air.  One man got caught in a twist of the rope as she gave her first spurt upward, and it slammed him up against a fence as if he’d been shot out of a gun.  Smashed in three or four of his ribs, I believe, and cracked his leg.

“But we went up beautifully about fifteen hundred feet, and while we were looking at the charming scenery we ran into a cloud, and I told Conly to throw out some ballast.  He heaved over a couple of sand-bags, and one of them accidentally fell on Major Wiggins’ hired girl, who was hanging clothes in the garden, and the other went into his chimney and choked it up.  He was mad as fury about it when we came down.  No enthusiasm for science.  Some men don’t care a cent whether the world progresses or not.