“Now, what I want to see you about is this:  Can’t I recover damages for assault and battery from Potts?  What I chopped off belonged to me, recollect.  I owned an undivided half of that setter pup, from the tip of his tail clear up to his third rib, and I had a right to cut away as much of it as I’d a mind to; while Potts, being sole owner of the dog’s head, is responsible when he bites anybody, or when he barks at nights.”

“I don’t know,” replied the colonel, musingly.  “There haven’t been any decisions on cases exactly like this.  But what does Mr. Potts say upon the subject?”

“Why, Potts’ view is that I divided the dog the wrong way.  When he wants to map out his half he draws a line from the middle of the nose right along the spine and clear to the end of the tail.  That gives me one hind leg and one fore leg and makes him joint proprietor in the tail.  And he says that if I wanted to cut off my half of the tail I might have done it, and he wouldn’t’ve cared, but what made him mad was that I wasted his property without consulting him.  But that theory seems to me a little strained; and if it’s legal, why, I’m going to close out my half of the dog at a sacrifice sooner than hold any interest in him on those principles.  Now, what do you think about it?”

“Well,” said the colonel, “I can hardly decide so important a question off-hand; but at the first glance my opinion is that you own the whole dog, and that Potts also owns the whole dog.  So when he bites you, a suit won’t lie against Potts, and the only thing you can do to obtain justice is to make the dog bite Potts also.  As for the tail, when it is separated from the dog it is no longer the dog’s tail, and it is not worth fighting about.”

“Can’t sue Potts, you say?”

“I think not.”

“Can’t get damages for the piece that’s been bit out of me?”

“I hardly think you can.”

“Well, well, and yet they talk about American civilization, and temples of justice, and such things!  All right.  Let it go.  I can stand it; but don’t anybody ever undertake to tell me that the law protects human beings in their rights.  Good-morning.”

“Wait a moment, Mr. Tompkins; you’ve forgotten my fee.”

“F-f-f-fee!  Why, you don’t charge anything when I don’t sue, do you?”

“Certainly, for my advice.  My fee is ten dollars.”

“Ten dollars!  Ten dollars!  Why, colonel, that’s just what I paid for my half of that dog.  I haven’t got fifty cents to my name.  But I’ll tell you what I’ll do:  I’ll make over all my rights in that setter pup to you, and you kin go round and fight it out with Potts.  If that dog bites me again, I’ll sue you and Potts as sure as my name’s Tompkins.”

The other case was of a somewhat more serious character.  Upon a subsequent occasion a man hobbled into the office upon crutches.  Proceeding to a chair and making a cushion of some newspapers, he sat down very gingerly, placed a bandaged leg upon another chair, and said,