When she had left aunt and uncle, when they were dead,
she would have no one left on earth; no house for
a refuge in time of sickness; no one to tell her troubles
to; no eye to laugh and weep with her; no person that
would weep when she should die; yes, perhaps no one
who would escort her coffin to that narrow, cold resting-place
that they would some day have to assign her.
She was alone; solitary and forsaken she was to wander
through the turmoil of the world to her lonely grave;
perhaps a long journey through many, many lonely years,
more bowed, more discouraged and powerless from year
to year—an old, withered, despised creature,
to whom scarce any would give refuge, even though
begged for it in the name of the Lord. New sorrow
quivered in her heart, lamentations were about to
well up. Why did the good Father, who was called
Love, let such poor children, who had nobody in the
world, live, to be cast out in childhood, seduced
in their prime, despised in old age? But then
she began to feel that she was sinning against God,
who had given her more than many had, who had preserved
her innocence to this day, and had so formed and developed
her that an abundant living seemed secured to her
if God preserved her health. Little by little,
as the hill-tops and the tree-tops peeped out of the
mist, so the love-tokens which God had visibly scattered
through her life began to appear—how she
had been guarded here and there, how she had enjoyed
many more cheerful days than many, many poor children,
and how she had found parents too, much better than
other children had, who, if they had not taken her
to their hearts like father and mother, had still
loved her and so brought her up that she could face
all people with the feeling that she was looked upon
as a real human being. No, she might not complain
of her good Father up yonder; she felt that His hand
had been over her. And was His hand not over
her still? Had He perhaps taken compassion on
the poor lonely girl? Had He decreed, since she
had remained faithful till then and tried to keep
herself unspotted by sin, to satisfy now the longing
of her heart, to give her a faithful breast to lay
her head on-something of her own, so that one day
somebody would weep at her death, somebody escort her
on the sad road to the gruesome grave? Was it
perhaps Uli, the loyal, skilful servant, whom she
had loved so long in her reserved heart; whom she
could reproach with nothing save his mistake with Elsie,
and that he too had been seized by the delusion that
money makes happiness; who had so faithfully and honestly
laid bare his heart and repented of his error?
Was it not a strange dispensation that they had both
come to this particular place, that Uli had not gone
away before, that Elsie had had to marry, that the
desire had come to her aunt to give the lease of the
farm to Uli? Was it not wonderful how all that
fitted in together; was not the Father’s kind
hand evident in it? Should she scorn what was
offered her? Was it something hard or repulsive