“It could not, of course, be expected that a particularly shrewd and able young Solicitor would be very communicative about his client’s case;” i.e., “Knew precious little himself, and didn’t even offer me a drink.”

* * * * *

QUITE THE KOCH OF THE WALK.—­The great Berlin Bacteriologist.

* * * * *

ROBERT AT BURN’EM BEACHES.

They is still so jolly busy at the “Grand” that I had sum differculty in getting leaf of habsense for Satterday, larst week, for to go with a werry seleck Copperashun Party on a most himportent hexcurshun to Burn’em Beaches about cuttin all the trees down, so that then it woodn’t be not Burn’em Beaches not no longer!  Howewer, by promisin for to stick to the “Grand” all thro’ the cumming Winter, the too Gentelmanly Managers let me go.

The fust thing as summat staggered me, in a long day of staggerers, was the fack, that all the hole Party had a grand Royal Saloon all to theirselves for to take them to Slough, but my estonishment ceased when I saw that they was Chairmaned by the same “King of good fellers” as took ’em all to Ship Lake on a prewious ocasion.  They didn’t have not no refreshments all the way to Slough, so they was naterally all pretty well harf starved by the time they got there, but there they found a lovly Shampane Lunshon a waiting for to refresh xhawsted Natur, and at it they went like One o’Clock altho it wasn’t only arf parst Elewen.  Now for the second staggerer!  One of the party, a rayther antient Deputty, insted of jining the rest of the Party, declared his intenshun to take his Lunch off the Sunshine which was shining most brillient outside the room, and acordingly off he set a warking up and down in it for three quorters of a hour, without not no wittels nor no drink! till “the King of all good fellers” coodn’t stand it not no longer, and sent me out to him with sum sangwidges and a bottel of Sham.  He woodn’t not touch no sangwidges, and ony took one glass of wine, and told me to put by the bottel for his dinner, which I did in course; but somehows, when he arsked for it arterwards, the cork had got out, and the wine had got out, but I thinks I can wenture to say as that not one drop of it was wasted, and werry good it was too.

We then set out on our luvly drive, me on the box-seat of one of the Carridges, and the other pore fellers cramped up hinside.  Sumhows or other, weather it was hoeing to the nobel Lunch or not, I don’t kno, we lost our way, and found ourselves at larst, not where we all wanted to be, but at a most bewtifool House of call, where they has the werry sensebel custom that, when they thinks as wisiters has had enuff drink, they won’t let ’em have not a Drop More, and that is acshally the name by which the ouse is known, both far and wide!  Whether it’s a good plan for the howse, in course I don’t kno, but Mr. FOURBES, the souperintendent of the Beeches, says as nothink woodn’t injuice ’em to alter the name.  Whether that singler custom had anythink to do with it I don’t kno, but our party didn’t stay there long, and we soon found ourselves at bewtifool Burn’em Beaches.