John.  No, no—­what’s the use?  He’ll have fired long before you get to the door.  Much better stay where you are, and do your screaming sitting down. (The Conjuror fires.) There, you see, you didn’t scream, after all!

The L. w.  N.  I screamed to myself—­which is ever so much worse for me; but you never will understand me till it’s too late!

[Herr VON K. performs another trick.

First Lady in Plush Cloak.  That was very clever, wasn’t it?  I can’t imagine how it was done!

The M. in E.D. (in whom the memory of his desecrated hat is still rankling).  Oh, can’t you?  Simplest thing in the world—­any child could do it!

Second Lady.  What, find the rabbit inside those boxes, when they were all corded up, and sealed!

The M. in E.D.  You don’t mean to say you were taken in by that?  Why, it was another rabbit, of course!

First Lady.  But even if it was another rabbit, it was wearing the borrowed watch round its neck.

The M. in E. D.  Easy enough to slip the watch in, if all the boxes have false bottoms.

Second L.  Yes, but he passed the boxes round for us to examine.

The M. in E. D.  Boxes—­but not those boxes.

First L.  But how could he slip the watch in when somebody was holding it all the time in a paper bag?

The M. in E. D.  Ah, I saw how it was done—­but it would take too long to explain it now.  I have seen it so well performed that you couldn’t spot it.  But this chap’s a regular duffer!

Herr V. K. (who finds this sort of thing rather disturbing).  Lyties and Shentilmans, I see zere is von among us who is a brofessional like myself, and knows how all my leedle dricks is done.  Now—­suddenly abandoning his accent—­I am always griteful for hanythink that will distrack the attention of the orjonce from what is going on upon the Stige; naterally so, because it prevents you from follerin’ my actions too closely, and so I now call upon this gentleman in the hevenin’ dress jest to speak hup a very little louder than what he ’as been doin’, so that you will be enabled to ’ear hevery word of his hexplanation more puffickly than what some of you in the back benches have done ’itherto.  Now, Sir, if you’ll kindly repeat your very hinterestin’ remarks in a more haudible tone, I can go on between like. [Murmurs of “No, no!” “Shut up!” “We don’t want to hear him!” from various places; The Man in Evening Dress subsides into a crimson taciturnity, which continues during the remainder of the performance.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH’S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

JOURNALISTIC.

“Inspector ——­ gives you the impression of a particularly able and open-minded Police-officer;” i.e., “An easy prey to the interviewing correspondent.”