Title:  Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 99, November 15, 1890

Author:  Various

Release Date:  June 4, 2004 [EBook #12517]

Language:  English

Character set encoding:  ASCII

*** Start of this project gutenberg EBOOK Punch, Vol. 99 ***

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Volume 99.

NOVEMBER 15, 1890.

MR. PUNCH’S PRIZE NOVELS.

No.  VI.—­Thrums on the auld String.

(By J. Muir KIRRIE, Author of “A Door on Thumbs,” “Eight Bald Fiddlers” “When a Man Sees Double,” “My Gentleman Meerschaum,” &c.

[With this story came a glossary of Scotch expressions.  We have referred to it as we went along, and found everything quite intelligible.  As, however, we have no room to publish the glossary, we can only appeal to the indulgence of our readers.  The story itself was written in a very clear, legible hand, and was enclosed in a wrapper labelled, “Arcadia Mixture.  Strength and Aroma combined.  Sold in Six-shilling cases.  Special terms for Southrons.  Liberal allowance for returned empties.”]

CHAPTER I.

We were all sitting on the pig-sty at T’NOWHEAD’S Farm.  A pig-sty is not, perhaps, a strictly eligible seat, but there were special reasons, of which you shall hear something later, for sitting on this particular pig-sty.

The old sow was within, extended at full length.  Occasionally she grunted approval of what was said, but, beyond that, she seemed to show but a faint interest in the proceedings.  She had been a witness of similar gatherings for some years, and, to tell the truth, they had begun to bore her, but, on the whole, I am not prepared to deny that her appreciation was an intelligent one.  Behind us was the brae.  Ah, that brae!  Do you remember how the child you once were sat in the brae, spinning the peerie, and hunkering at I-dree I-dree I droppit-it?  Do you remember that?  Do you even know what I mean?  Life is like that.  When we are children the bread is thick, and the butter is thin; as we grow to be lads and lassies, the bread dwindles, and the butter increases; but the old men and women who totter about the commonty, how shall they munch when their teeth are gone?  That’s the question.  I’m a Dominie.  What!—­no answer?  Go to the bottom of the class, all of you.

[Illustration]

CHAPTER II.