TO THE SAME

Another pretender

[No date; c. 1653.]

I could tell you such a story (it is too long to be written), as would make you see what I never discovered in my life before, that I am a valiant lady.  In earnest, we have had such a skirmish and upon so foolish an occasion, as I cannot tell which is strangest.  The Emperor and his proposals began it; I talked merrily on it till I saw my brother put on his sober face, and could hardly then believe he was in earnest.  It seems he was; for when I had spoke freely my meaning it wrought so with him, as to fetch up all that lay upon his stomach:  all the people that I had ever in my life refused were brought again upon the stage, like Richard the Third’s ghosts, to reproach me withal, and all the kindness his discoveries could make I had for you was laid to my charge; my best qualities, if I have any that are good, served but for aggravations of my fault, and I was allowed to have wit, and understanding, and discretion, in all other things, that it might appear I had none in this.  Well, ’twas a pretty lecture, and I grew warm with it after a while.  In short, we came so near to an absolute falling out that ’twas time to give over, and we said so much then that we have hardly spoken a word together since.  But ’tis wonderful to see what courtesies and legs pass between us, and as before we were thought the kindest brother and sister, we are certainly now the most complimental couple in England:  it is a strange change, and I am very sorry for it, but I’ll swear I know not how to help it....

TO THE SAME

A disappointing preacher

[No date; c. 1653.]

...  God forgive me, I was as near laughing yesterday where I should not:  would you believe that I had the grace to go to hear a sermon upon a week-day?  In earnest, ’tis true, and Mr. Marshall was the man that preached, but never any body was so defeated.  He is so famed that I expected rare things from him, and seriously I listened to him at first with as much reverence and attention as if he had been St. Paul.  And what do you think he told us? why, that if there were no kings, no queens, no lords, no ladies, no gentlemen or gentlewomen in the world, it would be no loss at all to God Almighty:  this he said over some forty times, which made me remember it, whether I would or not.  The rest was much at this rate, entertained with the prettiest odd phrases, that I had the most ado to look soberly enough for the place I was in that ever I had in my life.  He does not preach so always, sure; if he does, I cannot believe his sermons will do much towards the bringing anybody to heaven more than by exercising their patience; yet I’ll say that for him, he stood stoutly for tithes, though in my opinion few deserve them less than he, and it may be he would be better without