In Lanarkshire there lived a sma’ sma’ laird named Hamilton, who was noted for his eccentricity. On one occasion, a neighbour waited on him, and requested his name as an accommodation to a “bit bill” for twenty pounds at three months’ date, which led to the following characteristic and truly Scottish colloquy:—“Na, na, I canna do that.” “What for no, laird? ye hae dune the same thing for ithers.” “Ay, ay, Tammas, but there’s wheels within wheels ye ken naething about; I canna do’t.” “It’s a sma’ affair to refuse me, laird.” “Weel, ye see, Tammas, if I was to pit my name till’t, ye wad get the siller frae the bank, and when the time came round, ye wadna be ready, and I wad hae to pay’t; sae then you and me wad quarrel; sae we may just as weel quarrel the noo, as lang’s the siller’s in ma pouch.” On one occasion, Hamilton having business with the late Duke of Hamilton at Hamilton Palace, the Duke politely asked him to lunch. A liveried servant waited upon them, and was most assiduous in his attentions to the Duke and his guest. At last our eccentric friend lost patience, and looking at the servant, addressed him thus, “What the deil for are ye dance, dancing, about the room that gait? can ye no draw in your chair and sit down? I’m sure there’s plenty on the table for three.”
As a specimen of the old-fashioned Laird, now become a Reminiscence, who adhered pertinaciously to old Scottish usages, and to the old Scottish dialect, I cannot, I am sure, adduce a better specimen than Mr. Fergusson of Pitfour, to whose servant I have already referred. He was always called Pitfour, from the name of his property in Aberdeenshire. He must have died fifty years ago. He was for many years M.P. for the county of Aberdeen, and I have reason to believe that he made the enlightened parliamentary declaration which has been given to others: He said “he had often heard speeches in the