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A BOOTHIFUL IDEA!

Just finished my article on “Antediluvian Archaeology in its relation to Genesis and the Iliad,” and now all that remains to do is to carry the rest of my books down to the new library, make catalogue, consider subjects for five more speeches, write thirty-six letters and postcards, and polish off the ten last clauses of the Home-Rule Bill.  This idleness is oppressive.  Not used to it.  What shall I do?

Piles of correspondence by morning post!  What can this be about?  Ah!  I remember now! Nineteenth Century just out, of course.  Glad I thought of starting “Society of Universal Beneficence.”  Will keep me going after excitement of Midlothian.  Wonder how many people will “bind themselves to give away a fixed proportion of their income,”—­also what the proportion will be, if they do.  Don’t know if I should have thought of it, if it hadn’t been for General BOOTH’s book.  Remarkable person, the General.  Perhaps he’d order his Army to vote solid for Home Rule, if I offered him a place in my next Cabinet?  Must sound him on the subject.  Salvationists quite a power now.  Can’t cut Field-Marshal VON BOOTH up in a Magazine, so must cut him out instead!

Ha!  Letter from LABOUCHERE, of all people.  H—­m!  Says he’s “glad to see I’ve started Universal Beneficence Society.  Thought of doing so himself once.”  Congratulates me on turning my attention to “Social Reform.”  Says he thinks it’s an “Ecclesent idea,”—­he must mean “Excellent,” surely!

“Inquirer”—­(post-mark, Hatfield.  Curious circumstance, rather)—­writes to ask for details of the Society.  “Prefers at present to remain anonymous,” but an answer sent to “S., Hatfield House,” will always find him!  Meanwhile, encloses postal order for one pound ten shillings a “fixed proportion of his income,” as he sees that I’ve “offered to make myself the careful recipient of any assents,” by which he supposes that I mean cash.  A little embarrassing!

Take stroll in Park to collect my thoughts.  Find two leading Belfast linen-merchants busily gathering up sawdust, &c, round tree I felled yesterday.  They explain that they’ve been “much interested in my novel idea of converting chips of wood into best cambric pocket-handkerchiefs,” and think that it beats General BOOTH’s notion of making children’s toys out of old sardine-tins hollow.  I should rather think it did!  Still, have to confess that I’m not ready at present to “quote them my wholesale price for best oak-shavings delivered free on rail.”

Telegram from—­CHAMBERLAIN!  Says he sees the new Society’s one of “universal” beneficence, and supposes it includes him!  Quite a mistake!  Sends cheque for three pounds, and hopes I’ll “keep a strict account of all sums received, and issue a report and balance-sheet shortly.”  Really, very injudicious of me to use word “universal”!  Ought to have expressly excluded Liberal-Unionists (so-called), from my plan.  That’s where General BOOTH has advantage of me. He probably doesn’t exclude anybody that wants to send him money.  Perhaps, after all, he knows how to do this sort of thing better than I do.