***

“French battleship dropped.”

Pall Mall Gazette.

Very careless of someone.

***

Reading that one of the features of the new British battleship class will be less draught, Aunt Caroline remarked that she was glad to hear this:  she had always understood that during even half a gale it was very easy to catch cold at sea.

***

Sir Rufus Isaacs has decided to take the title of Lord reading.  This still leaves it open to a distinguished literary man, should he be made a peer, to become Lord Writing.

***

The age of pleasure!  Where will it stop?  Extract from The Witney Gazette:—­“On Monday evening a very successful dance was given in the Corn Exchange ...  The company numbered over one hundred, and dancing to the strains of Taylor’s Oxford Scarlet Band was enjoyed till the early hours of Wednesday morning.”

***

While Police Constable Jakeman was in Eldon Road, Reading, last week, a cat suddenly pounced on him and bit him.  We have not yet received a full account of the incident, but apparently the constable was on detective duty and cleverly disguised as a mouse.

***

One of the cats shown at the Grand Championship Cat Show had her fur cut and trimmed like a poodle’s.  The matter has been much discussed in canine circles, and we understand that there may be trouble.

***

An express train travelling from Nice to Macon was, last week, beaten by an eagle, which raced it over a distance of eighteen miles.  Birds are evidently being put upon their mettle by the aeroplanes.

***

Alleged notice outside Drury Lane:—­

Sleeping Beauty.

N.B.—­Chauffeurs are kindly
requested not to Hoot
when Passing.

***

From Paris comes the news that a successor to the Tango has been found in the form of a Chinese dance known as the Tatao.  The name, presumably, is a contraction of the words “Ta-ta, Tango.”

***

A new character named “It” appears in the revival of The Darling of the Gods.  We presume it is The Limit.

***

The manager of the Little Theatre is making arrangements for shilling seats for the first time in the history of the house.  How is it going to be done?  By Magic, of course.

***

“The Shepherdess without a Heart” continues to make good progress, and the medical profession is much interested.

* * * * *

A Farewell tour.

This is positively Chum’s last appearance in print—­for his own sake no less than for yours.  He is conceited enough as it is, but if once he got to know that people are always writing about him in the papers his swagger would be unbearable.  However, I have said good-bye to him now; I have no longer any rights in him.  Yesterday I saw him off to his new home, and when we meet again it will be on a different footing.  “Is that your dog?” I shall say to his master.  “What is he?  A Cocker?  Jolly little fellows, aren’t they?  I had one myself once.”