“Wot cheer, Alf?  Yer lookin’ sick; wot is it?”

“Work! nuffink but work, work, work, from mornin’ till night!”

’"Ow long ’ave yer been at it?”

“Start tomorrow.”—­Punch.

Several men were discussing the relative importance and difficulty of mental and physical work, and one of them told the following experience: 

“Several years ago, a tramp, one of the finest specimens of physical manhood that I have ever seen, dropped into my yard and asked me for work.  The first day I put him to work helping to move some heavy rocks, and he easily did as much work as any two other men, and yet was as fresh as could be at the end of the day.

“The next morning, having no further use for him, I told him he could go; but he begged so hard to remain that I let him go into the cellar and empty some apple barrels, putting the good apples into one barrel and throwing away the rotten ones—­about a half hour’s work.

“At the end of two hours he was still in the cellar, and I went down to see what the trouble was.  I found him only half through, but almost exhausted, beads of perspiration on his brow.

“‘What’s the matter?’ I asked.  ‘Surely that work isn’t hard.’

“‘No not hard,’ he replied.  ’But the strain on the judgment is awful.’”

See also Rest cure.

WORMS

A country girl was home from college for the Christmas holidays and the old folks were having a reception in her honor.  During the event she brought out some of her new gowns to show to the guests.  Picking up a beautiful silk creation she held it up before the admiring crowd.

“Isn’t this perfectly gorgeous!” she exclaimed.  “Just think, it came from a poor little insignificant worm!”

Her hard-working father looked a moment, then he turned and said:  “Yes, darn it, an’ I’m that worm!”

YALE UNIVERSITY

The new cook, who had come into the household during the holidays, asked her mistress: 

“Where ban your son?  I not seeing him round no more.”

“My son,” replied the mistress pridefully.  “Oh, he has gone back to Yale.  He could only get away long enough to stay until New Year’s day, you see.  I miss him dreadfully, tho.”

“Yas, I knowing yoost how you feel.  My broder, he ban in yail sax times since Tanksgiving.”

YONKERS

An American took an Englishman to a theater.  An actor in the farce, about to die, exclaimed:  “Please, dear wife, don’t bury me in Yonkers!”

The Englishman turned to his friend and said:  “I say, old chap, what are yonkers?”

“YOU”

  Here’s to the world, the merry old world,
  To its days both bright and blue;
  Here’s to our future, be it what it may,
  And here’s to my best—­that’s you!