SENATORS

A Senator is very often a man who has risen from obscurity to something worse.

“You have been conspicuous in the halls of legislation, have you not?” said the young woman who asks all sorts of questions.

“Yes, miss,” answered Senator Sorghum, blandly; “I think I have participated in some of the richest hauls that legislation ever made.”

An aviator alighted on a field and said to a rather well-dressed individual:  “Here, mind my machine a minute, will you?”

“What?” the well-dressed individual snarled.  “Me mind your machine?  Why, I’m a United States Senator!”

“Well, what of it?” said the aviator.  “I’ll trust you.”

SENSE OF HUMOR

  “What of his sense of humor?”
  “Well, he has to see a joke twice before he sees it once.”

  —­Richard Kirk.

“A sense of humor is a help and a blessing through life,” says Rear Admiral Buhler.  “But even a sense of humor may exist in excess.  I have in mind the case of a British soldier who was sentenced to be flogged.  During the flogging he laughed continually.  The harder the lash was laid on, the harder the soldier laughed.

“‘Wot’s so funny about bein’ flogged?’ demanded the sergeant.

“‘Why,’ the soldier chuckled, ‘I’m the wrong man.’”

Mark Twain once approached a friend, a business man, and confided to him that he needed the assistance of a stenographer.

“I can send you one, a fine young fellow,” the friend said, “He came to my office yesterday in search of a position, but I didn’t have an opening.”

“Has he a sense of humor?” Mark asked cautiously.

“A sense of humor?  He has—­in fact, he got off one or two pretty witty things himself yesterday,” the friend hastened to assure him.

“Sorry, but he won’t do, then,” Mark said.

“Won’t do?  Why?”

“No,” said Mark.  “I had one once before with a sense of humor, and it interfered too much with the work.  I cannot afford to pay a man two dollars a day for laughing.”

The perception of the ludicrous is a pledge of sanity.—­Emerson.

SENTRIES

See Armies.

SERMONS

See Preaching.

SERVANTS

TOMMY—­“Pop, what is it that the Bible says is here to-day and gone to-morrow?”

POP—­“Probably the cook, my son.”

As usual, they began discussing the play after the theater.  “Well, how did you like the piece, my dear?” asked the fond husband who had always found his wife a good critic.

“Very much.  There’s only one improbable thing in it:  the second act takes place two years after the first, and they have the same servant.”