Looking it up the father found the words:  “Sorrow vanquished, labor ended, Jordan passed.”

RACE PREJUDICES

A negro preacher in a southern town was edified on one occasion by the recital of a dream had by a member of the church.

“I was a-dreamin’ all dis time,” said the narrator, “dat I was in ole Satan’s dominions.  I tell you, pahson, dat was shore a bad dream!”

“Was dere any white men dere?” asked the dusky divine.

“Shore dere was—­plenty of ’em,” the other hastened to assure his minister “What was dey a-doin’?”

“Ebery one of ’em,” was the answer, “was a-holdin’ a cullud pusson between him an’ de fire!”

RACE PRIDE

Sam Jones, the evangelist, was leading a revival meeting in Huntsville, Texas, a number of years ago, and at the close of one of the services an old negro woman pushed her way up through the crowd to the edge of the pulpit platform.  Sam took the perspiring black hand that was held out to him, and heard the old woman say:  “Brudder Jones, you sho’ is a fine preacher!  Yes, suh; de Lord bless you.  You’s des everybody’s preacher.  You’s de white folks’ preacher, and de niggers’ preacher, and everybody’s preacher.  Brudder Jones, yo’ skin’s white, but, thank de Lord, yo’ heart’s des as black as any nigger’s!”

An Irishman and a Jew were discussing the great men who had belonged to each race and, as may be expected, got into a heated argument.  Finally the Irishman said: 

“Ikey, listen.  For ivery great Jew ye can name ye may pull out one of me whiskers, an’ for ivery great Irishman I can name I’ll pull one of yours.  Is it a go?”

They consented, and Pat reached over, got hold of a whisker, said, “Robert Emmet,’ and pulled.

“Moses!” said the Jew, and pulled one of Pat’s tenderest.

“Dan O’Connell,” said Pat and took another.

“Abraham,” said Ikey, helping himself again.

“Patrick Henry,” returned Pat with a vicious yank.

“The Twelve Apostles,” said the Jew, taking a handful of whiskers.

Pat emitted a roar of pain, grasped the Jew’s beard with both hands, and yelled, “The ancient Order of Hibernians!”

RACE SUICIDE

“Prisoner, why did you assault this landlord?”

“Your Honor, because I have several children he refused to rent me a flat.”

“Well, that is his privilege.”

“But, your Honor, he calls his apartment house ‘The Roosevelt.’”

RACES

In answer to the question, “What are the five great races of mankind?” a Chinese student replied, “The 100 yards, the hurdles, the quartermile, the mile, and the three miles.”

“Now, Thomas,” said the foreman of the construction gang to a green hand who had just been put on the job, “keep your eyes open.  When you see a train coming throw down your tools and jump off the track.  Run like blazes.”