“Ah mos’ suhtainly does, boss.  Why, dat man axed de good Lord fo’ things dat de odder preacher didn’t even know He had!”

Hilma was always glad to say her prayers, but she wanted to be sure that she was heard in the heavens above as well as on the earth beneath.

One night, after the usual “Amen,” she dropped her head upon her pillow and closed her eyes.  After a moment she lifted her hand and, waving it aloft, said, “Oh, Lord! this prayer comes from 203 Selden Avenue.”

Willie’s mother had told him that if he went to the river to play he should go to bed.  One day she was away, and on coming home about two o’clock in the afternoon found Willie in bed.

“What are you in bed for?” asked his mother.

“I went to the river to play, and I knew you would put me in bed, so I didn’t wait for you to come.”

“Did you say your prayers before you went to bed?” asked his mother.

“No,” said Willie.  “You don’t suppose God would be loafing around here this time of day, do you?  He’s at the office.”

Little Polly, coming in from her walk one morning, informed her mother that she had seen a lion in the park.  No amount of persuasion or reasoning could make her vary her statement one hairbreadth.  That night, when she slipped down on her knees to say her prayers, her mother said, “Polly, ask God to forgive you for that fib.”

Polly hid her face for a moment.  Then she looked straight into her mother’s eyes, her own eyes shining like stars, and said, “I did ask him, mamma, dearest, and he said, ’Don’t mention it, Miss Polly; that big yellow dog has often fooled me.’”

Prayer is the spirit speaking truth to Truth.—­Bailey.

  Pray to be perfect, though material leaven
  Forbid the spirit so on earth to be;
  But if for any wish thou darest not pray,
  Then pray to God to cast that wish away.

  —­Hartley Coleridge.

See also Courage.

PREACHING

The services in the chapel of a certain western university are from time to time conducted by eminent clergymen of many denominations and from many cities.

On one occasion, when one of these visiting divines asked the president how long he should speak, that witty officer replied: 

“There is no limit, Doctor, upon the time you may preach; but I may tell you that there is a tradition here that the most souls are saved during the first twenty-five minutes.”

One Sunday morning a certain young pastor in his first charge announced nervously: 

“I will take for my text the words, ’And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.’”

At this misquotation an old parishioner from his seat in the amen corner said audibly: 

“That’s no miracle—­I could do it myself.”

The young preacher said nothing at the time, but the next Sunday he announced the same text again.  This time he got it right: