“Mr. Henry?  Is that Mr. Henry?” came in astonished tones from the rear.  “Thunder! that can’t be him.  Why, that’s the young man that asked me to call for Mr. Henry.”

A political speaker, while making a speech, paused in the midst of it and exclaimed:  “Now gentlemen, what do you think?”

A man rose in the assembly, and with one eye partially closed, replied modestly, with a strong Scotch brogue:  “I think, sir, I do, indeed, sir—­I think if you and I were to stump the country together we could tell more lies than any other two men in the country, sir, and I’d not say a word myself during the whole time, sir.”

The Rev. Dr. Biddell tells a lively story about a Presbyterian minister who had a young son, a lad about ten years of age.  He was endeavoring to bring him up in the way he should go, and was one day asked by a friend what he intended to make of him.  In reply he said: 

“I am watching the indications.  I have a plan which I propose trying with the boy.  It is this:  I am going to place in my parlor a Bible, an apple and a silver dollar.  Then I am going to leave the room and call in the boy.  I am going to watch him from some convenient place without letting him know that he is seen.  Then, if he chooses the Bible, I shall make a preacher of him; if he takes the apple, a farmer he shall be; but if he chooses the dollar, I will make him a business man.”

The plan was carried out.  The arrangements were made and the boy called in from his play.  After a little while the preacher and his wife softly entered the room.  There was the youngster.  He was seated on the Bible, in one hand was the apple, from which he was just taking a bite, and in the other he clasped the silver dollar.  The good man turned to his consort.  “Wife,” he said, “the boy is a hog.  I shall make a politician of him.”

Senator Mark Hanna was walking through his mill one day when he heard a boy say: 

“I wish I had Hanna’s money and he was in the poorhouse.”

When he returned to the office the senator sent for the lad, who was plainly mystified by the summons.

“So you wish you had my money and I was in the poorhouse,” said the great man grimly.  “Now supposing you had your wish, what would you do?”

“Well,” said the boy quickly, his droll grin showing his appreciation of the situation, “I guess I’d get you out of the poorhouse the first thing.”

Mr. Hanna roared with laughter and dismissed the youth.

“You might as well push that boy along,” he said to one of his assistants; “he’s too good a politician to be kept down.”

See also Candidates; Public Speakers.

POLITICS

Politics consists of two sides and a fence.

If I were asked to define politics in relation to the British public, I should define it as a spasm of pain recurring once in every four or five years.—­A.E.W.  Mason.