The lawyer was sitting at his desk absorbed in the preparation of a brief.  So bent was he on his work that he did not hear the door as it was pushed gently open, nor see the curly head that was thrust into his office.  A little sob attracted his notice, and, turning he saw a face that was streaked with tears and told plainly that feelings had been hurt.

“Well, my little man, did you want to see me?”

“Are you a lawyer?”

“Yes.  What do you want?”

“I want”—­and there was resolute ring in his voice—­“I want a divorce from my papa and mama.”

PARROTS

Pat had but a limited knowledge of the bird kingdom.  One day, walking down the street, he noticed a green bird in a cage, talking and singing.  Thinking to pet it he stroked its head.  The bird turned quickly, screaming, “Hello!  What do you want?” Pat shied off like a frightened horse, lifting his hat and bowing politely as he stuttered out:  “Ex-excuse me s-sir, I thought you was a burrd!”

PARTNERSHIP

A West Virginia darky, a blacksmith, recently announced a change in his business as follows:  “Notice—­De co-pardnership heretofore resisting between me and Mose Skinner is hereby resolved.  Dem what owe de firm will settle wid me, and dem what de firm owes will settle wid Mose.”

PASSWORDS

“I want to change my password,” said the man who had for two years rented a safety-deposit box.

“Very well,” replied the man in charge.  “What is the old one?”

“Gladys.”

“And what do you wish the new one to be?”

“Mabel.  Gladys has gone to Reno.”

Senator Tillman not long ago piloted a plain farmer-constituent around the Capitol for a while, and then, having some work to do on the floor, conducted him to the Senate gallery.

After an hour or so the visitor approached a gallery door-keeper and said:  “My name is Swate.  I am a friend of Senator Tillman.  He brought me here and I want to go out and look around a bit.  I though I would tell you so I can get back in.”

“That’s all right,” said the doorkeeper, “but I may not be here when you return.  In order to prevent any mistake I will give you the password so you can get your seat again.”

Swate’s eyes rather popped out at this.  “What’s the word?” he asked.

“Idiosyncrasy.”

“What?”

“Idiosyncrasy.”

“I guess I’ll stay in,” said Swate.

PATIENCE

“Your husband seems to be very impatient lately.”

“Yes, he is, very.”

“What is the matter with him?”

“He is getting tired waiting for a chance to get out where he can sit patiently hour after hour waiting for a fish to nibble at his bait.”