“Ah, no,” said His Grace, with a merry twinkle in his eye, “that would never do.  I would not like to separate them from their counsel.”

GARDENING

Th’ only time some fellers ever dig in th’ gardens is just before they go a fishin’.—­Abe Martin.

“I am going to start a garden,” announced Mr. Subbubs.  “A few months from now I won’t be kicking about your prices.”

“No,” said the grocer; “you’ll be wondering how I can afford to sell vegetables so cheap.”

GAS STOVES

A Georgia woman who moved to Philadelphia found she could not be contented without the colored mammy who had been her servant for many years.  She sent for old mammy, and the servant arrived in due season.  It so happened that the Georgia woman had to leave town the very day mammy arrived.  Before departing she had just time to explain to mammy the modern conveniences with which her apartment was furnished.  The gas stove was the contrivance which interested the colored woman most.  After the mistress of the household had lighted the oven, the broiler, and the other burners and felt certain the old servant understood its operations, the mistress hurried for her train.

She was absent for two weeks and one of her first questions to mammy was how she had worried along.

“De fines’ ever,” was the reply.  “And dat air gas stove—­O my!  Why do you know, Miss Flo’ence, dat fire aint gone out yit.”

GENEROSITY

“This is a foine country, Bridget!” exclaimed Norah, who had but recently arrived in the United States.  “Sure, it’s generous everybody is.  I asked at the post-office about sindin’ money to me mither, and the young man tells me I can get a money order for $10 for 10 cents.  Think of that now!”

At one of these reunions of the Blue and the Gray so happily common of late, a northern veteran, who had lost both arms and both legs in the service, caused himself to be posted in a conspicuous place to receive alms.  The response to his appeal was generous and his cup rapidly filled.

Nobody gave him more than a dime, however, except a grizzled warrior of the lost cause, who plumped in a dollar.  And not content, he presently came that way again and plumped in another dollar.

The cripple’s gratitude did not quite extinguish his curiosity.  “Why,” he inquired, “do you, who fought on the other side, give me so much more than any of those who were my comrades in arms?”

The old rebel smiled grimly.  “Because,” he replied, “you’re the first Yank I ever saw trimmed up just to suit me.”

At dinner one day, it was noticed that a small daughter of the minister was putting aside all the choice pieces of chicken and her father asked her why she did that.  She explained that she was saving them for her dog.  Her father told her there were plenty of bones the dog could have so she consented to eat the dainty bits.  Later she collected the bones and took them to the dog saying, “I meant to give a free will offering but it is only a collection.”