saddle of his fortunes until he be married.  He wants spring, purpose, and aim; and, above all, he wants a home as the centre of his efforts.  Some portion of inconvenience, therefore, may be risked to obtain this; in fact, it often occurs that by waiting too long the freshness of life is worn off, and that the generous glow of early feelings becomes tamed down to lukewarmness by a too prudent delaying; while a slight sacrifice of ambition or self-indulgence on the part of the gentleman, and a little descent from pride of station on the lady’s side, might have ensured years of satisfied love and happy wedded life.

On the other hand, we would recommend a long courtship as advisable when—­the friends on both sides favouring the match—­it happens that the fortune of neither party will prudently allow an immediate marriage.  The gentleman, we will suppose, has his way to make in his profession or business, and is desirous not to involve the object of his affection in the distressing inconvenience, if not the misery, of straitened means.  He reflects that for a lady it is an actual degradation, however love may ennoble the motive of her submission, to descend from her former footing in society.  He feels, therefore, that this risk ought not to be incurred.  For, although the noble and loving spirit of a wife might enable her to bear up cheerfully against misfortune, and by her endearments soothe the broken spirit of her husband; yet the lover who would wilfully, at the outset of wedded life, expose his devoted helpmate to the ordeal of poverty, would be deservedly scouted as selfish and unworthy.  These, then, are among the circumstances which warrant a lengthened engagement, and it should be the endeavour of the lady’s friends to approve such cautious delay, and do all they can to assist the lover in his efforts to abridge it.  The lady’s father should regard the lover in the light of another son added to his family, and spare no pains to promote his interests in life, while the lady’s mother should do everything in her power, by those small attentions which a mother understands so well, to make the protracted engagement agreeable to him, and as endurable as possible to her daughter.

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IV.—­PRELIMINARY ETIQUETTE OF A WEDDING.

Whether the term of courtship may have been long or short—­according to the requirements of the case—­the time will at last arrive for

Fixing the Day.

While it is the gentleman’s province to press for the earliest possible opportunity, it is the lady’s privilege to name the happy day; not but that the bridegroom-elect must, after all, issue the fiat, for he has much to consider and prepare for beforehand:  for instance, to settle where it will be most convenient to spend the honeymoon—­a point which must depend on the season of the year, on his own vocation, and other circumstances.  At this advanced state of affairs, we must not overlook the important question of