“Of course,” he said, “as my sons are lazy and in dissension among themselves, and yours lie and shout louder, they make themselves believed by the ignorant.  But I shall be glad when my descendants are extinct.”

“And so shall I!  And I!  I wish it was all over with mine!” shouted at once several voices.

“But old Peter’s revenge did not stop at that.  Yesterday he played a hard joke on me.  He not only confiscated a package that a Tagalo [5] brought with him, but instead of directing him to the imbecile’s department, he took him where we all were.  The poor Tagalo carried with him a large collection of little books written by you, which were given him by his Priest, who told him they represented so much indulgency for his next life.  As soon as the Indian had arrived everyone Up There knew he had brought books written by an Augustinian monk, and they were snatched away.  I tried to hide myself, but I could not.  What laughter and what jokes!  The little angels came in a body; the Celestial Father’s Orchestra lost its time; the Virgins, instead of watching their music sheets read the books and sang most discordantly, and even old Anthony’s little pig began grunting and twisting his tail.

“I felt ashamed; I could see every one point their finger at me and laugh.  But, in spite of all this Zarathustra, the grave and serious Zarathustra, did not laugh.  With a humiliating pride he asked me: 

“’Is that your son, he who pretends that my religion is paganish, and that I am a pagan?  Have your sons degenerated to such a degree as to confound my pure religion, root of the most perfect creeds, with Polytheism and Idolatry?  Do they know that paganism is derived from pagani, which means inhabitant of the fields, who always were faithful to the Greek and Roman Polytheism?  You may answer that they do not know Latin!  If so, make then speak more modestly.  Tell them that paganus comes from pagus, from which the words pages, payes, paien, paese, pais (country), are derived.  Tell those unfortunate that the Zend-Avesta religion was never professed by the rural inhabitants of the Roman country.  Tell them that my religion is monotheist, even more so than the Roman Catholic religion, which not only accepted the dualism of my creed, but has deified several creatures.  Tell them that Paganism in its widest and most corrupted sense, duly meant Polytheism; that neither my religion nor that of Moses nor Mohammed were ever Pagan religions.  Tell them to read your own works, where in every page you refer to the Pagans.  Repeat to them that which you said in speaking of the religion of the Manechees (a corruption of my doctrine by you professed) which influenced your works and prevails yet in your religion, and which at one time caused the Roman Catholic Church to vacillate.  Yes:  I linked the principle of Good and Evil together—­Ahura-Mazda; God!  But this is not to admit of two Gods, as you, yourself said.  To speak of health and sickness is not to admit two healths.  And what?  Have they not copied my principle of evil in Satan, prince of darkness?  Tell them that if they do not know Latin to at least study the religions, since they fail to recognize the true one!’