INCOMPREHENSIBLE!—At the dinner given by the LORD MAYOR, a few days since, to the representatives of Art and Literature of all nations, a linguist, who is believed to understand seventeen languages, made a speech in the eighteenth!
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[Illustration: OUR COMPATRIOTS ABROAD.
SCENE—A Table d’hote.
Aristocratic English Lady (full of diplomatic relations). “A—CAN YOU TELL ME IF THERE IS A RESIDENT BRITISH MINISTER HERE?”
Scotch Tourist. “WELL, I’M NOT JUST QUITE SURE—BUT I’M TOLD THERE’S AN EXCELLENT PRESBYTERIAN SERVICE EVERY SUNDAY!”]
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A FAMILY QUESTION.
A SONG FOR THE SITUATION.
AIR—“THE CHESAPEAKE AND THE SHANNON.”
MCKINLEY, brave and bold, as the universe
is told,
Brought forth his Tariff Bill
so neat and handy, O!
And true patriots, everyone thought the
business splendid fun,
With their music playing Yankee-doodle
dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle,
Yankee-doodle dandy. O!
The patriots came running, and admired
MCKINLEY’s cunning,
In the interests
of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The Britisher might blame the new Economic
game,
That only fired the
Yankee like neat brandy, O!
If J.B. should be stone-broke by MCKINLEY’s
master-stroke,
Tant mieux, my boys,
for Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle,
Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The measure is a lark, it may transfer
the British market
To the able hands
of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The fight has scarce begun, and the Yank
has seen the fun
Of the rush of freighted vessels
to be handy, O!
Just in time for the old duties; they
competed, like young beauties
For the smile of some young
roving Royal dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle,
Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
They knew there’d be a scare if
the ships didn’t dodge the Tariff,
The New Tariff
dear to Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The Etruria and Zaandam
found the business quite a flam,
The Thingvalla, in
good time, was not quite handy, O!
Whilst some sugar-laden ships found they’d
wholly missed their tips,
To the merriment of Yankee-doodle
dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle,
Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Yet the prudent thoughts are giving to
the “increased cost of living,”
Home-expenses
burden Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Miss COLUMBIA and her “Ma”
have a fancy that Pap-pa,
At raising “worsted-stuffs”
has been too handy, O!
Fifty per cent. on frocks, upon petticoats
and socks,
Scares the women-folk of Yankee
doodle dandy, O!
Yankee doodle,
Yankee doodle dandy, O!
“Taxing the Briti_sher_” may
yet create a stir
In the Home-affairs
of Yankee doodle dandy, O!