I, of course, refused His Highness’s offer, and accepted instead the Cross for Valour on the Field of Battle.  I then hurried off to Servia.  King MILAN informed me that, if I wished to take a Queen back with me to England, he would dispose of one very cheaply.  Having advised the Regents as to the best method of governing the country, I departed for Roumania.  The Queen of ROUMANIA welcomed me as a literary man.  She writes all the Roumanian sporting prophecies in verse.  The King invested me at once with the Stonibroku Order in brilliants, with the Iohu Clasp for special promise shown in connection with turf literature.  I may assure you in confidence that there will be no war for the next week or two.  This result is entirely due to me.

Do you want to hear about the St. Leger?  I need only say that my own Surefoot has brought me Alloway Heaume.  Whilst in Russia I heard about plenty of Serfs, but they were not saints.  Anybody who proposes to wear a Blue-green waistcoat on the Queen’s Birthday ought to eat Sainfoin for the rest of his life, and be taken Right Away.  Finally, if The Field is to Memoir as a window-sash is to a Duchess’s flounces, what chance has a crack-brained Bedlamite of munching potatoes in St. James’s Palace?  Answers must he posted not later than Monday.  All prizes genuine.  No blanks.

Yours as always, GENERAL POPOFF.

* * * * *

FROM THE FRENCH—­AND THE ENGLISH.

[Illustration:  Ra-ta-Plan, Ra-ta-Plan-quette!]

Captain Therese, Comic Opera.  Music by ROBERT PLANQUETTE, composer of Paul Jones and Les Cloches de Corneville.  Book by Messrs. BISSON and BURNAND; GILBERT A BECKETT assisting in the lyrics.  The Carl Rosa Company, DRURIOLANO IMPERATORE, wouldn’t wait for the production of an Opera in Paris in order to bring it out here with the French cachet, but determined to have one done all for themselves, and to bring it out here first.  So the French author began it, the English one finished it, and the Composer wrote music for original French and original English words.  It is an international Opera; a new departure, and in the Operatic world an important one.  It answers a question which was once the question of the day, “Why should London wait?” London, represented by Sheriff DRURIOLANUS, did not wait, and was served immediately with Captain Therese, produced Monday the 25th, at the Prince of Wales’s Theatre; and the gratitude of London has justified the generosity of all concerned behind the Curtain, and in front of the house.  Even in August the five million odd of those left in Town can appreciate good music, capital acting, magnificent dresses, and perfect mise-en-scene.  The Prince of Wales’s Theatre has a reputation for level excellence in Comic Opera—­it is the specialite de la maison, and the new lyrical