THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

P.S.—­So many persons have sent in touching requests to the Baron only to notice their books with one little word, that his library table groans under their weight.  To about a hundred of them that one little word might be “Bosh!”—­but even then they’d be pleased.

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THE NEW STOCKING.

[The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER has announced that the Treasury have decided to enable the small investor in Consols, upon a written request to the Bank of England, to have his dividends re-invested as they arise, and thus automatically accumulated without further trouble on his part.—­Times.]

  Oh, it was the old Lady of Threadneedle Street,
  And she held up her Stocking (ne’er used for her feet),
  And she ups, and says she, “I’ve an excellent notion;
  Leastways, ’tis one borrowed from COHEN by GOSCHEN;
      Which nobody can deny!

  “The cash that you put in my Stocking, my dears,
  Will grow by degrees, if you leave it for years. 
  By your dividends?  Ah! you draw them, girls and boys,
  And spend ’em, the Times says, in sweets and in toys;
      Which nobody can deny!

  “How very much better to let ’em remain;
  Re-invest ’em, in fact!  An original brain
  Has hit on that capital notion, at length,
  And I’m game for to back him with all my old strength,
      Which nobody can deny!

  “Leave your dividends in my—­suppose we say hose—­
  And the cash, snowball-like, gathers fast as it goes. 
  So my—­Stocking (I must use the word) will be seen,
  The latest and best Automatic Machine,
      Which nobody can deny!

  “Think, children, of Ac-cu-mu-la-tive Con-sols! 
  Much better than bull’s eyes, and peg-tops, and dolls! 
  Yes, this is the notion, exceedingly knowin’,
  Which GOSCHEN, the Chancellor, borrows from COHEN,
      Which nobody can deny!

  “To the Nation friend COHEN’s idea’s a great gift;
  It should lend such a “vigorous impulse to thrift;”
  Leave your coin in my Stocking—­in time it will double,
  Without giving you, what a Briton hates, Trouble! 
      Which nobody can deny!

  “Then think of the saving in potions and pills,
  And the fall in that very bad stock—­Doctor’s Bills—­
  When your Dividends no longer spoil girls and boys
  With per-ni-ci-ous sweets, and with re-dun-dant toys,
      Which nobody can deny!

  “So, dear Little Investors, I trust you’ll come flocking,
  Like bees to the hive, to my last style of Stocking,
  My new, automatic, self-mending, smart hose,
  In which cash, left alone, gathers fast as it goes,
      Which nobody can deny!”

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[Illustration:  WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH.