The efficiency of all the elaborate arrangements of the hull for safety in collision, fire, or battle, depends upon the Engineers.  Their machinery trains and elevates, loads and controls the heavy guns.  The use of the Whitehead torpedo and all its appliances would be an impossibility without the Engineers.  In addition to this there is the propulsion of the ship, and the control and supervision of a large staff of artificers and men.  And yet the Engineer officers are the lowest paid class of commissioned officers in the Royal Navy—­this when, without exaggeration, they may be described as the hardest-worked.

The Com. It certainly seems unfair that officers of your importance should not receive ampler remuneration.  When was the rate established?

En.  Of., R.N. It has seen little change since 1870; and you may judge of its justice when I tell you that a young Surgeon of twenty-three, appointed to his first ship, receives more pay than many Engineer officers who have seen fourteen years’ service, and have reached the age of thirty-five.

The Com. I am decidedly of opinion that your pay should be increased, and I suppose (as evidently there has been “class feeling” in the matter) you have had to suffer annoyance anent relative rank?

En.  Of., R.N. (with a smile).  Well, yes, we have.  But if the Engineer-in-Chief at the Admiralty (who, by the way, receives L1000 a-year, and yet is held responsible for the design and manufacture of machinery costing L12,000,000 per annum) is admitted to be superior to all other Engineer officers, we shall be satisfied.  Still I cannot help saying that the Chief Engineer of a ship is snubbed when all is right, and only has his importance and responsibility allowed (when indeed it is recognised and paraded) when anything is wrong!  But let that pass.

The Com. I am afraid it is too late to do anything further this Session, as the House is just up.  However, if matters are not more satisfactory at the end of the recess, let me know, and—­but you shall see!

    [The Witness, after suitable acknowledgment, then withdrew.

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“A LITTLE MORE THAN GAY BUT LESS THAN GRAVE.”—­Not very long ago, an act of sacrilege was committed at Canterbury by a man, who robbed an alms-box in the Cathedral.  However, disregarding the precedent set some time since by the Dean and Chapter (who it will be remembered dug up and removed the bones of the honoured dead) the intruder abstained from touching the vaults of those buried in consecrated ground.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  DIGNITY IN DISTRESS.

Small Boys (to Volunteer Major in temporary command).  “I SAY, GUV’NOR—­HI!  JUST WIPE THE BLOOD OFF THAT ’ERE SWORD!!”]

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MIGHT BE BETTER!

  Small game and scant!  The Season’s show
    Of Birds, in bunches big, adjacent,
  Will hardly take JOHN’s eye, although
    The Poulterer appears complacent,
  Seeing, good easy man, quite clearly
  That rival shops show yet more queerly.