Faber wrote a kind, respectful letter, somewhat injured in tone, to the minister, saying he was much concerned to hear that he was not so well, and expressing his apprehension that he himself had been in some measure the cause of his relapse.  He begged leave to assure him that he perfectly recognized the absolute superiority of Mr. Drake’s claim to the child.  He had never dreamed of asserting any right in her, except so much as was implied in the acknowledgment of his duty to restore the expense which his wrong and neglect had caused her true father; beyond that he well knew he could make no return save in gratitude; but if he might, for the very partial easing of his conscience, be permitted to supply the means of the child’s education, he was ready to sign an agreement that all else connected with it should be left entirely to Mr. Drake.  He begged to be allowed to see her sometimes, for, long ere a suspicion had crossed his mind that she was his, the child was already dear to him.  He was certain that her mother would have much preferred Mr. Drake’s influence to his own, and for her sake also, he would be careful to disturb nothing.  But he hoped Mr. Drake would remember that, however unworthy, he was still her father.

The minister was touched by the letter, moved also in the hope that an arrow from the quiver of truth had found in the doctor a vulnerable spot.  He answered that he should be welcome to see the child when he would; and that she should go to him when he pleased.  He must promise, however, as the honest man every body knew him to be, not to teach her there was no God, or lead her to despise the instructions she received at home.

The word honest was to Faber like a blow.  He had come to the painful conclusion that he was neither honest man nor gentleman.  Doubtless he would have knocked any one down who told him so, but then who had the right to take with him the liberties of a conscience?  Pure love only, I suspect, can do that without wrong.  He would not try less to be honest in the time to come, but he had never been, and could no more ever feel honest.  It did not matter much.  What was there worth any effort?  All was flat and miserable—­a hideous long life!  What did it matter what he was, so long as he hurt nobody any more!  He was tired of it all.

It added greatly to his despondency that he found he could no longer trust his temper.  That the cause might be purely physical was no consolation to him.  He had been accustomed to depend on his imperturbability, and now he could scarcely recall the feeling of the mental condition.  He did not suspect how much the change was owing to his new-gained insight into his character, and the haunting dissatisfaction it caused.