New Hebrides.—­Am now within measurable distance of the end of my journey.  Quite accustomed to the water.  However, greatly fatigued, and very pleased to eat some of ——­’s Alimentary Condiment.

Pitcairn Island.—­Glad to be again in these latitudes.  My strokes are now very feeble.  I should have to give in were it not for ——­’s Medicated Mutton Broth, which seems to be most nourishing.

Cape Town.—­In a fainting condition.  Scarcely able to hold this pen.  Became better after eating ——­’s Digestible Plum Puddings, sold in tin canisters at 1s. 10d. per pound.

Rio Janeiro.—­Terribly hot and exhausted.  I have now been three months continuously in the water, which is certainly a long time.  Much amused with a toy called ——­’s Mechanical Rabbit.

Cape Verde Islands.—­Almost unconscious from fatigue.  However, I can swim more easily after I have drunk a glass or two of ——­’s Cabbage Rose Temperance Non-Intoxicating Sherry.  It is a most admirable beverage.

Madeira.—­I move with the greatest difficulty, and fear I must be sinking.  I obtain great strength from an occasional sip of ——­’s “Beef-fibre” (title registered) which seems to me worth twice its weight in gold.

Dublin.—­Have now been in the water continuously for nearly half a year.  Too feeble to look at Dublin.  I am evidently sinking, and can only keep off a relapse by eating ——­’s Patent Vegetable Substitute for Roast Pork.

Herne Bay.—­Returned dead—­quite dead!  Restored to life by inhaling ——­’s Vitality Producer.

N.B.—­The above blanks will be filled up with real names.  For particulars apply at 85, Fleet Street Advertisement Department.

* * * * *

A BLACK BUSINESS.

As stated in the Daily Telegraph of Thursday last, the Russian Censor stamped out Mr. Punch’s Cartoon, “From Nile to Neva,” and obliterated the verses.  The St. James’s Gazette suggested that the Cartoon was thus reproduced in Whistlerian fashion.  It certainly is a study in black, without any relief whatever.  A Black business indeed!  Who shall correct the Censor Incensed?  Even Mr. Punch himself would be chary about visiting Petersburg, lest he should be “bound in Russia,”—­and sent to Siberia.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  IMITATION THE SINCEREST FLATTERY.

(Effects of a Long Session in the House.)]

* * * * *

WHAT THE TAME RABBIT SAID TO THE GRAND OLD GARDENER.

(Some way after “Alice in Wonderland.")

“The work of Major MORANT is headed Profitable Rabbit Farming.  (Laughter.) Yes, that is a subject for merriment, probably, on account of its comparative novelty, but it is also a subject of satisfaction, which is akin to merriment, because this rabbit-farming appears to be a very good and promising description of pursuit....  That is the raising of tame rabbits.”—­Mr. Gladstone at the Hawarden Floral and Horticultural Society’s Show.