Dreams!—Stain it on the bending
amethyst,
That one who came with visions
of the Prime
For guide somehow her radiant pathway
missed,
And wandered in the darkest
gulf of Time.
No
deed divine thenceforth
Stood royal in
its far-related worth;
No god, in truth, might heal
the wounded chime.
Oh, how? I darkly ask;—and
if I dare
Take up a thought from this tumultuous street
To the forgotten Silence soaring there
Above the hiving roofs, its calm depths meet
My glance with no reply.
Might I go back and spell this mystery
In the new stillness at my mother’s feet,—
I would recall with importunings
long
That so sad soul, once pierced as with a knife,
And cry, Forgive! Oh, think Youth’s tide
was strong,
And the full torrent, shut from brain and life,
Plunged through the heart, until
It rocked to madness, and the o’erstrained
will
Grew wild, then weak, in the despairing strife!
And ever I think, What warning voice
should call,
Or show me bane from food, with tedious art,
When love—the perfect instinct, flower
of all
Divinest potencies of choice, whose part
Was set ’mid stars and flame
To keep the inner place of God—became
A blind and ravening fever of the heart?
I laugh with scorn that men should
think them praised
In women’s love,—chance-flung
in weary hours,
By sickly fire to bloated worship raised!—
O long-lost dream, so sweet of vernal flowers!
Wherein I stood, it seemed,
And gave a gift of queenly mark!—I
dreamed
Of Passion’s joy aglow in rounded powers.
I dreamed! The roar, the tramp,
the burdened air
Pour round their sharp and subtle mockery.
Here go the eager-footed men; and there
The costly beggars of the world float by;—
Lilies, that toil nor spin,
How should they know so well the weft of sin,
And hide me from them with such sudden eye?
But all the roaming crowd begins
to make
A whirl of humming shade;—for, since
the day
Is done, and there’s no lower step to take,
Life drops me here. Some rough, kind hand,
I pray,
Thrust the sad wreck aside,
And shut the door on it!—a little
pride,
That I may not offend who pass this way.
And this is all!—Oh, thou
wilt yet give heed!
No soul but trusts some late redeeming care,—
But walks the narrow plank with bitter speed,
And, straining through the sweeping mist of air,
In the great tempest-call,
And greater silence deepening through it all,
Refuses still, refuses to despair!
Some further end, whence thou refitt’st
with aim
Bewildered souls, perhaps?—Some breath
in me,
By thee, the purest, found devoid of blame,
Fit for large teaching?—Look!—I
cannot see,—
I can but feel!—Far off,
Life seethes and frets,—and from
its shame and scoff
I take my broken crystal up to thee.