You are at Lucca Baths, you tell me, to
stay for the summer;
Florence was quite too hot; you can’t
move further at present.
Will you not come, do you think, before
the summer is over?
Mr. C. got you out with very
considerable trouble;
And he was useful and kind, and seemed
so happy to serve you;
Didn’t stay with you long, but talked
very openly to you;
Made you almost his confessor, without
appearing to know it,—
What about?—and you say you
didn’t need his confessions.
O my dear Miss Roper, I dare not trust
what you tell me!
Will he come, do you think?
I am really so sorry for him!
They didn’t give him my letter at
Milan, I feel pretty certain.
You had told him Bellaggio. We didn’t
go to Bellaggio;
So he would miss our track, and perhaps
never come to Lugano,
Where we were written in full, To Lucerne,
across the St.
Gothard.
But he could write to you;—you
would tell him where you were going.
IV.—CLAUDE TO EUSTACE.
Let me, then, bear to forget her.
I will not cling to her falsely;
Nothing factitious or forced shall impair
the old happy relation.
I will let myself go, forget, not try
to remember;
I will walk on my way, accept the chances
that meet me,
Freely encounter the world, imbibe these
alien airs, and
Never ask if new feelings and thoughts
are of her or of others.
Is she not changing, herself?—the
old image would only delude me.
I will be bold, too, and change,—if
it must be. Yet if in all things,
Yet if I do but aspire evermore to the
Absolute only,
I shall be doing, I think, somehow, what
she will be doing;—
I shall be thine, O my child, some way,
though I know not in what way.
Let me submit to forget her; I must; I
already forget her.
V.—CLAUDE TO EUSTACE.
Utterly vain is, alas, this attempt at
the Absolute,—wholly!
I, who believed not in her, because I
would fain believe nothing,
Have to believe as I may, with a wilful,
unmeaning acceptance.
I, who refused to enfasten the roots of
my floating existence
In the rich earth, cling now to the hard,
naked rock that is left me.—
Ah! she was worthy, Eustace,—and
that, indeed, is my comfort,—
Worthy a nobler heart than a fool such
as I could have given.
VI.—CLAUDE TO EUSTACE.
Yes, it relieves me to write, though I
do not send; and the chance
that
Takes may destroy my fragments. But
as men pray, without asking
Whether One really exist to hear or do
anything for them,—
Simply impelled by the need of the moment
to turn to a Being
In a conception of whom there is freedom
from all limitation,—
So in your image I turn to an ens rationis
of friendship.
Even to write in your name I know not
to whom nor in what wise.
VII.—CLAUDE TO EUSTACE.