Indeed, she never had!  The frightful monster, with its bob-tail and boa-constrictor neck!  But she said nothing.

Ben named them the Emperor and Empress.  They were not to be allowed to walk with common fowls, and he soon had a large, airy house made for them.  He watched these creatures with incessant devotion, and one morning he was beside himself with delight, for, by a most hideous roaring on the part of the Emperor, and a vigorous cackling, which Ben, very descriptively, called “scraughing,” by the Empress, it was announced that she had laid an egg!

Etiquette required Kate to call and admire this promise of royal offspring, and she was surprised into genuine admiration when she saw the prodigy.  Her nose had to lower its scornful turn, her lips to relax their skeptical twist.  It was an egg indeed!  Ben was nobly justified in his purchase.  His step was light that day.  Kate heard him singing, over and over again, a verse from an old song which he had brought with him from the land o’ cakes:—­

  “I hae a hen wi’ a happity leg,
  (Lass, gin ye loe me, tell me noo,)
  And ilka day she lays me an egg
  (And I canna come ilka day to woo!)”

Wooing any lass would, just now, have been quite as secondary an affair with the singer as in the song,—­a something par parenthese.

But, alas!  Ben’s face was more dubious the next day, and before the week was over it was yard-long.  The Empress, after that one great effort, laid no more eggs, but duly began her second duty, sitting.  There was no doubt that she meant to have but one chick,—­out of rivalry, perhaps, with the Pynchon hen.  It was gratifying, perhaps, to have her so aristocratic, but it was not exactly profitable as a speculation.

“Ben,” said Kate, dryly, “I don’t know that that egg was wonderfully large, as it contained the whole brood!”

Poor Ben!  That was not all.  The clumsy, heavy Empress stepped upon her egg, and broke it in the second week of its existence; but, faithful to its memory, she refused to forego the duties of maternity, and would persist in staying on her nest.  As the season advanced, Ben lost hope of the second brood he had counted upon.  In short, his Empress had the legitimate “hen-fever,” and it carried her off, though Ben tried numberless remedies in common use for vulgar fowls, such as pumping upon her, whirling her by one leg, tying red flannel to her tail, and so forth.  Of course such indignities were fatal to royalty, and Ben gave up all hopes of a pure race of Shanghais.

The Emperor was then set at liberty, and for one short half-hour strutted like a giant-hero among the astounded hens.  But no sooner did the former old cock—­who had game blood in him, repute said—­return from a distant excursion into the cornfields with his especial favorites about him, and behold the mighty majesty of the monster, than his pride and ire blazed up.  He put his head low, ruffled out his long neck-feathers, his eyes winked and snapped fire with rage, he set out his wings, took a short run, and, throwing up his spurs with fury, struck the stupid, staring Emperor a blow under the ear which laid him low.  Alas for royalty, opposed to force of will!