“Of course not.”

“Well, I yered so.”

“Well, you heard a mighty big whopper.”

“Anyhow, Bobby, things goes mighty contrary in dis house.  Ole Miss is in de parlor prayin’ for de Secesh to gain de day, and we’s prayin’ in de cabins and kitchens for de Yankees to get de bes’ ob it.  But wasn’t Miss Nancy glad wen dem Yankees run’d away at Bull’s Run.  It was nuffin but Bull’s Run an’ run away Yankees.  How she did larff and skip ’bout de house.  An’ den me thinks to myself you’d better not holler till you gits out ob de woods.  I specs ’fore dem Yankees gits froo you’ll be larffin tother side ob your mouf.  While you was gone to market ole Miss com’d out yere, her face looking as long as my arm, tellin’ us all ’bout de war and saying dem Yankees whipped our folks all to pieces.  And she was ’fraid dey’d all be down yere soon.  I thought they couldn’t come too soon for we.  But I didn’t tell her so.”

“No, I don’t expect you did.”

“No, I didn’t; ef you buys me for a fool you loses your money shore.  She said when dey com’d down yere she wanted all de men to hide, for dey’d kill all de men, but dey wouldn’t tech de women.”

“It’s no such thing.  She’s put it all wrong.  Why them Yankees are our best friends.”

“Dat’s jis’ what I thinks.  Ole Miss was jis’ tryin to skeer a body.  An’ when she war done she jis’ set down and sniffled an’ cried, an’ I war so glad I didn’t know what to do.  But I had to hole in.  An’ I made out I war orful sorry.  An’ Jinny said, ’O Miss Nancy, I hope dey won’t come yere.’  An’ she said, ‘I’se jis’ ’fraid dey will come down yere and gobble up eberything dey can lay dere hands on.’  An’ she jis’ looked as ef her heart war mos’ broke, an’ den she went inter de house.  An’ when she war gone, we jis’ broke loose.  Jake turned somersets, and said he warnt ’fraid ob dem Yankees; he know’d which side his brad was buttered on.  Dat Jake is a cuter.  When he goes down ter git de letters he cuts up all kines ob shines and capers.  An’ to look at him skylarking dere while de folks is waitin’ for dere letters, an’ talkin’ bout de war, yer wouldn’t think dat boy had a thimbleful of sense.  But Jake’s listenin’ all de time wid his eyes and his mouf wide open, an’ ketchin’ eberything he kin, an’ a heap ob news he gits dat way.  As to Jinny, she jis’ capered and danced all ober de flore.  An’ I jis’ had to put my han’ ober her mouf to keep ole Miss from yereing her.  Oh, but we did hab a good time.  Boy, yer oughter been yere.”

“And, Aunt Linda, what did you do?”

“Oh, honey, I war jis’ ready to crack my sides larffin, jis’ to see what a long face Jinny puts on wen ole Miss is talkin’, an’ den to see dat face wen missus’ back is turned, why it’s good as a circus.  It’s nuff to make a horse larff.”

“Why, Aunt Linda, you never saw a circus?”