I turned upon Richard a fierce look, and said, very quietly, he might go away, for I would not see the Doctor.  After that, they tried me with Sophie, but with less success; and, finally, Richard came back alone, with a glass in his hand.

“Take this, Pauline, it will make you sleep.”

I wanted to sleep very much, so I took it.

Bettina had finished my packing, and had laid my travelling dress and hat upon a chair.

“Shall Bettina come and sleep on the floor, by your bed?” asked Richard, anxiously.

“No, I would not have her for the world.”

“Maybe you might not wake in time,” said Richard, warily.

That was very true:  so I let Bettina come.  Richard gave her some instructions at the door, and she came in and arranged things for the night, and lay down on a mattress at the foot of my bed.

The sedative which the Doctor sent did not work very well.  I had very little sleep, and that full of such hideous, freezing dreams, that every time I woke, I found Bettina standing by my bed, looking at me with alarm.  I had been screaming and moaning, she said, The screaming and moaning and sleeping (such as it was), were all over in about two hours, and then I had the rest of the night to endure, with the same strange, light feeling in my head—­the restlessness not much, but somewhat abated.

I was very glad that Bettina was in the room, for though she was sleepy, and always a little stupid, she was human, and I was a coward, both in the matter of loneliness and of suffering.  I made her sit by me, and take hold of my hand, and I asked her several times if she had ever been with any one that died, or that—­I did not quite dare to ask her about going mad.

My questions seemed to trouble her.  She crossed herself, and shuddered, and said, No, she had never been with any one that died, and she prayed the good God never to let her be.

“You’ll have to be with one person that dies, Bettina.  That’s yourself.  You know it’s got to come.  We’ve all got to go out at that gate,” and I moaned, and turned my face away.

“Let me call Mr. Richard,” said Bettina, very much afraid.  I would have given all the world to have seen Richard then; but I knew it was impossible, and I said, No, it would soon be morning.

Long before morning, I heard Richard up and walking about the house.  We were to leave the house at half-past four.  By four, all the trunks, and shawls, and packages, were strapped and ready, and I was sitting dressed, and waiting by the window.

Bettina liked very much better to pack trunks, and put rooms in order, than to sit still and hold a person’s hot hands, in the middle of the night, and have dreadful questions asked her; and she had been very active and efficient.  Soon Richard called her to come down and take my breakfast up to me.  I could not eat it, and it was taken away.  Then the carriage came, and the wagon to take the baggage.  Finally, Richard came, and told me it was time to start, if I were ready.