“If we shadows have offended (Oh, Katie, Katie!)
    Think but this, and all is mended, (Oh, my toe!)
    That you have but slumbered here,
    While these visions did appear. (I can’t, I can’t!)
    And this weak and idle theme,
    No more yielding but a dream, (Oh, dear! oh, dear!)
    Gentles, do not reprehend; (A big sob)
    If you pardon, we will mend. (Oh, Mrs. Kean!)”

How I got through it, I don’t know!  But my salary was doubled—­it had been fifteen shillings, and it was raised to thirty—­and Mr. Skey, President of Bartholomew’s Hospital, who chanced to be in a stall that very evening, came round behind the scenes and put my toe right.  He remained my friend for life.

I was not chosen for Puck because I had played Mamilius with some credit.  The same examination was gone through, and again I came out first.  During the rehearsals Mrs. Kean taught me to draw my breath in through my nose and begin a laugh—­a very valuable accomplishment!  She was also indefatigable in her lessons in clear enunciation, and I can hear her now lecturing the ladies of the company on their vowels.  “A, E, I, O, U, my dear,” she used to say, “are five distinct vowels, so don’t mix them all up together, as if you were making a pudding.  If you want to say, ‘I am going on the river,’ say it plainly and don’t tell us you are going on the ‘riv_ah_!’ You must say her, not har; it’s God, not Gud:  rem_on_strance, not rem_un_strance,” and so forth.  No one ever had a sharper tongue or a kinder heart than Mrs. Kean.  Beginning with her, I have always loved women with a somewhat hard manner!  I have never believed in their hardness, and have proved them tender and generous in the extreme.

Actor-managers are very proud of their long runs nowadays, but in Shakespeare, at any rate, they do not often eclipse Charles Kean’s two hundred and fifty nights of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” at the Princess’s.  It was certainly a very fascinating production, and many of the effects were beautiful.  I, by the way, had my share in marring one of these during the run.  When Puck was told to put a girdle round the earth in forty minutes, I had to fly off the stage as swiftly as I could, and a dummy Puck was whirled through the air from the point where I disappeared.  One night the dummy, while in full flying action, fell on the stage, whereupon, in great concern for its safety, I ran on, picked it up in my arms, and ran off with it amid roars of laughter!  Neither of the Keans was acting in this production, but there was some one in authority to give me a sound cuff.  Yet I had such excellent intentions.  ’Tis ever thus!

I reveled in Puck and his impish pranks, and unconsciously realized that it was a part in which the imagination could run riot.  I believe I played it well, but I did not look well, and I must contradict emphatically the kind assumption that I must have been a “delightful little fairy.”  As Mamilius I was really a sweet little thing, but while I was playing Puck I grew very gawky—­not to say ugly!  My hair had been cut short, and my red cheeks stuck out too much.  I was a sight!