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TITLED MONTHS.—­In the list given by the Figaro of those present at Cardinal LAVIGERIE’S great anti-slavery function at Saint Sulpice was “un ancien ministre plenipotentiare le Baron d’Avril.” What a set of new titles this suggests for any creation, of new Peers in England!  Duke of DECEMBER!  Earl of FEBRUARY!  Of course, the nearest title to Baron D’AVRIL with us is the Earl of MARCH.  The Marquis of MAY sounds nice; Lord AUGUST, Baron JULY; and, should a certain eminent ecclesiastical lawyer ever become a Law Lord, there will be yet another British cousin to Baron d’AVRIL and the Earl of MARCH in—­Lord JEUNE.

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NO MORE LAW OFFICERS!—­“An Automatic Recorder on the Forth Bridge” was a heading to a paragraph in the St. James’s last Saturday.  The announcement must have startled Sir THOMAS CHAMBERS, Q.C.  Heavens!  If there is one Automatic Recorder in the North, why not another in the South?  Automatic Recorders would be followed by Automatic Common Serjeants, and—­Isn’t it too awful!

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[Illustration:  RATHER A LARGE ORDER.

The Herr Professor.  “ACH—­BEST MISS ROSY, VILL YOU KINDLY TURN ME OVER!”]

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LOOKING FORWARD.

(EXTRACT FROM “THE DAILY PRIZE-FIGHTER,” SEPTEMBER 24, 1900.)

Yesterday morning LOO BOBBETT and BEN MOUSETRAP had an interview with Mr. PHEASANT, the Magistrate presiding in the North-West London Police Court.  The approaches to the Court were crowded from an early hour.  Amongst those in the street we noticed BILLY BLOWFROTH, and SAM SNEEZER, the well-known pot-boys from “The Glove and Wadding” and “The Tap o’Claret” Hotels, SHINY MOSES, AARON ISAACS, and SANDY the Sossidge (so-called by his friends on account of his appearance), the celebrated bankers from the West-end of Whitechapel, and a large gathering of the elite of the Lambeth Road.  Inside the Court the company was, if possible, even more select.  Mr. TITAN CHAPEL, the proprietor of the Featherbed Club, was the first to arrive in his private brougham, and he was followed at short intervals by the Earl of ARRIEMORE, Lord TRIMI GLOVESON, Mr. TOOWITH YEW, Mr. BRANDIC OHLD, Mr. SPLITTS ODER, Mr. GINCOCK TALE, and Mr. ANGUS TEWBER, with a heap more of the best known patrons of sport in the Metropolis.  Little time was cut to waste in the preliminaries, and it was generally acknowledged at the end of the day that no prettier set-to had been witnessed for a long time than that which took place at the North-West London Police Court.  We append below some of the more salient portions of the evidence.

Inspector Chizzlem.  I produce a pair of gloves ordinarily used at London boxing matches. [Produces them from his waistcoat pocket.

Mr. Pheasant (the Magistrate).  Pardon me.  I don’t quite understand.  Were the gloves that you produce to be used at this particular competition?