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[Illustration:  “HAD ENOUGH OF IT.”

MISS PARLIAMENTINA PUTTING AWAY HER PUPPETS.]

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RUMOURS FOR THE RECESS.

Monday.—­We hear, from a source which cannot possibly be mistaken, that a thorough reconstruction of the Cabinet is imminent.  Mr. SM-TH goes at once to the Upper House.  Mr. B-LF-R becomes First Lord, and Leader of the Commons.  A position will be found for Mr. G-SCH-N somewhere on the Gold Coast, and thus room will be made for Lord R-ND-LPH CH-RCH-LL, whose popularity in official Conservative circles is undiminished.  Lord H-RT-NGT-N will probably not become Prime Minister just yet.

Tuesday.—­Since yesterday, some slight modifications in Ministerial arrangements have been made.  Mr. SM-TH, for example, does not go to the House of Lords, nor Mr. G-SCH-N to the Gold Coast.  Moreover, no attempt has been made to induce Lord R-ND-LPH to enter the Cabinet, and Mr. B-LF-R is not to be Leader of the House.  Otherwise, the rumoured reconstruction was quite correct.  Lord H-RT-NGT-N’S acceptance of the post of Prime Minister is considered to be merely a matter of time.

Wednesday.—­No fresh reconstruction is announced to-day, as Ministers are mostly out of Town.  Lord H-RT-NGT-N declines to be interviewed on the subject of the Premiership.

Thursday.—­An entirely fresh readjustment of Ministerial forces is on the tapis.  Great excitement prevails at Westminster.  Nobody exactly knows why, but it is expected that substitutes will be found for Mr. G-SCH-N, Mr. SM-TH, Mr. B-LF-R, Mr. M-TTH-WS, Mr. R-TCH-E, and Lord H-LSB-RY.  Lord H-RT-NGT-N is said to have referred all persons who questioned him about his acceptance of the Premiership, to Lord S-L-SB-RY.

Friday.—­Mr. M-TTH-WS has been offered the Governorship of Madras, and has declined.  He has been sounded as to whether he would accept the High Commissionership of the unexplored parts of Central Africa, and has replied evasively.  Two prominent Members of the Cabinet are said not to be on speaking terms, and are practising the dumb alphabet in consequence.  It is positively asserted, that the Lord Advocate will be the next Leader of the House of Commons.  Lord H-RT-NGT-N’S chances of the Premiership have not improved.

Saturday.—­A total and absolutely fresh reconstruction of the Cabinet, giving everybody a new place, and every place a new holder, is expected immediately.  Details will follow shortly.  For the present Lord H-RT-NGT-N remains outside the Cabinet, and has gone to Newmarket.

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WEEK BY WEEK.

We have often been asked how we contrive to put together every week the delightful paragraphs which appear in this column.  The system is really wonderfully easy, and, with proper instruction, a child could do it.  The first point is to select an item of intelligence about which few people care to hear.  This must be spun out very thin and long, and adorned with easy extracts from TUPPER, the copy-books, or Mr. W.H.  SMITH’S speeches.  Then wrap it up in a blanket of humour, sprinkle with fatuousness, and serve cold.