Bowler. Hang it!  If you’re so sweet on ARTHUR B.,
      Try him next Season, but don’t chivey me!

    [Goes off huffily.

  Wicket-keeper (to Umpire).  I take them without flinching.  Umpire,
          don’t I? 
      I’ll do my duty to my Team and County
      As long as I’ve a knuckle in its place;
      I have not many—­look!  And see my face! 
      No, when the game’s renewed, JOKIM must try
      To keep the wicket clearly in his eye,
      Not the poor wicket-keeper, or you’ll see
      “Retired, hurt” will be the end of Me!

* * * * *

AN OLD RAILWAY AND A NEW LINE.

At the last General Meeting of the L.C. & D., their Chairman made one of his best speeches.  Prospects were bright, and hearts were light, just to drop into poetry.  Sir E. WATKIN, alias S. Eastern WATKIN, had some time ago been assured judicially of the fact that Folkestone meant Folkestone as clearly as Brighton means Brighton, or Ramsgate means Ramsgate, and the two great Companies were, it was hoped, soon to come to an agreement and live happily ever afterwards.  Among other plans for the future, the popular and astute Chairman more than hinted that the day was not far distant when, in consequence of the increasing patronage bestowed on the improved third-class carriages, the trains of the L.C. & D. Company would be made up of first and third, and the middle class would be out of it altogether.  This will be a blow to those whose travelling motto has hitherto been “In medio tutissimus ibis.” But, on the other hand, if the second-class be dropped, the L.C. & D. can adopt the proud motto, “Nulli Secundus.” Mr. Punch, Universal Managing Director, in charge of thousands of lines, wishes them the benefit of the omen.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE CLOSE OF THE INNINGS.

W.H.S. (Wicket-keeper).  “TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, UMPIRE:—­IF THE BOWLING’S GOING TO BE AS WILD—­NEXT INNINGS—­AS THIS, I SHALL ’RETIRE HURT’!”]

* * * * *

“LEBE WOHL!  HELGOLAND!”

(AN INCIDENT OF THE CESSION—­HITHERTO UNREPORTED.)

[Illustration]

The Representative of BRITANNIA’S Might had departed in appropriate state, and the German Emperor had reached his destination.  The new landlord was most anxious to take possession.  He was all impatience to appear before his recently-acquired subjects, to show to them the Military Uniform he had assumed after discarding that garb he loved so well—­the grande tenue of an Honorary Admiral of the Fleet in the service of VICTORIA, Queen, Empress, and Grandmother.  There was a consultation on board the Hohenzollern, and then a subdued German cheer.  The Chief Naval Officer approached His Majesty, cocked-hat in hand.