out of (I couldn’t remember the French for ‘out of’) cette confounded fortress?” He wouldn’t understand me.  I tipped him a wink—­I tipped him a two-shilling piece.  It wasn’t enough I suppose, as he called another fellow.  The other chap came up,—­what he was I don’t know—­but suddenly, from their awful manner, their frowns, and violent expressions, it occurred to me, “Hang it all! they take me for a Jew!” Never was so alarmed.  With great presence of mind I pointed to my nose—­they saw the point at once.  Then the pair of them marched me off ("to Siberia,” thinks I! and I wondered how far we should have to walk!) to the courtyard, where I had entered, and then passed me through the gate on to the road again.  Then I fled to the yacht!!  Away!  Away!

[Illustration:  Policeman.]

Never will I venture out of the yacht again, until I can do so safely.  Expect me back soon.  Ah, what an escape!—­to think I might have languished for the best of my days in irons or in the mines out in Siberia, like Rip Van Winkle, or the Prisoner of Chillon, who dug himself out with his nails (when I was a boy I remember it, and tried to do it in the garden), and came up with a long beard when everyone was dead and gone.  I may return as a stowaway, but anyhow expect me, and prepare the fatted outlet.  That’s humorous, isn’t it, eh?

[Illustration:  “Suddenly from their awful manner, their frowns, and violent expressions, it occurred to me, ’Hang it all!  They take me for a Jew!"’—­Extract from Letter from Our Yotting Yorick.]

Yours, JETSAM, THE Y.Y.

19,000 miles away too!  Just imagine!

* * * * *

AUTOMATIC PROGRESS.

The Proprietors of the “Automatic Chair” having had reason to think their invention such a success that they have turned it into a Company, a stimulus has been given to ingenuity in this direction, with the result that the following prospective advertisement, or something very much like it, may shortly be expected to see the light:—­

THE AUTOMATIC FURNITURE SUPPLY ASSOCIATION, started for the purpose of meeting the daily-increasing demand for self-acting and trouble-saving appliances in the domestic arrangements of the modern household, beg to inform their patrons that they are now able to supply them with

THE AUTOMATIC FOUR-POSTER.—­This ingeniously constructed piece of furniture will tuck up the occupant, rock him to sleep, and pitch him out on to the floor at a given hour in the morning, thoroughly waking him by the operation, when it will of its own accord fold itself up into a conveniently-shaped parcel, not bigger than an ordinary carriage umbrella.  The Association further desire to inform their patrons that they have also invented a

PATENT AUTOMATIC SHOWER-BATH AND WASH-HAND-STAND, that will forcibly seize the user, thoroughly souse him from head to foot, scrub, wash, and dry him.  Finally folding itself up into a convenient lounge, on which he can complete his toilette at leisure.  They also are prepared to supply their