Fated to Be Free eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 584 pages of information about Fated to Be Free.

Fated to Be Free eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 584 pages of information about Fated to Be Free.

Now Dorothea had said in the easiest way possible to Justina, “I shall ask our new clergyman to take Emily in to luncheon, and Mr. Mortimer to take you.”  Justina knew now that the game was up; she was not quick of perception, but neither was she vacillating.  When once she had decided on any course, she never had the discomfort of wishing afterwards that she had done otherwise.  There was undoubtedly a rumour going about to the effect that John Mortimer liked her, and was “coming forward.”  No one knew better than herself and her mother how this rumour had been wafted on, and how little there was in it.  “Yet,” she reflected, “it was my best chance.  It was necessary to put it into his head somehow to think about me in such a light; but that others have thought too much and said too much, it might have succeeded.  What I should like best now,” she further considered, pondering slowly over the words in her mind, “would be to have people say that I have refused him.”

She had reached this point when Emily joined her walking silently beside her, that she might not appear companionless.  Emily was full of pity for her, in spite of the lightening of her own heart.  People who have nothing to hope best know what a lifting of the cloud it is to have also nothing to fear.

The poetical temperament of Emily’s mind made her frequently change places with others, and, indeed, become in thought those others—­fears, feelings, and all.

“What are you crying for, Emily?” her mother had once said to her, when she was a little child.

“I’m not Emily now,” she answered; “I’m the poor little owl, and I can’t help crying because that cruel Smokey barked at me and frightened me, and pulled several of my best feathers out.”

And now, just the same, Emily was Justina, and such thoughts as Justina might be supposed to be thinking passed through Emily’s mind somewhat in this way:—­

“No; it is not at all fair!  I have been like a ninepin set up in the game of other people’s lives, only to be knocked down again; and yet without me the game could not have been played.  Yes; I have been made useful, for through me other people have unconsciously set him against matrimony.  If they would but have let him alone”—­(Oh, Justina! how can you help thinking now?)—­“I could have managed it, if I might have had all the game to myself.”

Next to the power of standing outside one’s self, and looking at me as other folks see me, the most remarkable is this of (by the insight of genius and imagination) becoming you.  The first makes one sometimes only too reasonable, too humble; the second warms the heart and enriches the soul, for it gives the charms of selfhood to beings not ourselves.

“Yet it is a happy thing for some of us,” thought Emily, finishing her cogitations in her own person, “that the others are not allowed to play all the game themselves.”

When Brandon got home John saw his wife quietly look at him.  “Now what does that mean?” he thought; “it was something more than mere observance of his entering.  Those two have means of transport for their thoughts past the significance of words.  Yes, I’m right; she goes into the dining-room, and he will follow her.  Have they found it out?”

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Fated to Be Free from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.