And Mrs. and Miss Tomkins (in pursuit of bargains) continue to arrive daily at Peter Snelbody’s from Cricklewood.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE SPLENDID PAUPERS.

FIRST TURKISH OFFICIAL (presented with a photograph of the new Turkish Navy in lieu of six months’ deferred pay).  “SO, WE’VE GOT A DREADNOUGHT, HAVE WE?”

SECOND TURKISH OFFICIAL.  “I DON’T KNOW WHO GETS THE DREAD, BUT I KNOW WE’VE GOT THE NOUGHT.”]

* * * * *

THE SPELL

    whereby the Good People may be brought back to a house which
    they have deserted.

  Fairies!—­whatsoever sprite
    Near about us dwells—­
  You who roam the hills at night,
    You who haunt the dells—­
    Where you harbour, hear us! 
  By the Lady Hecate’s might,
    Hearken and come near us!

  Though we greatly fear, alack! 
    Cloddish unbelief
  Angered you and made you pack
    To our present grief,
    Hearts you shall not harden: 
  Bathe your hurts and come you back
    Here to house and garden!

  By the oak and ash and thorn,
    By the rowan tree,
  This was done ere we were born: 
    Kith nor kin are we
    Of the folk whose blindness
  Shut you out with scathe and scorn,
    Banished with unkindness.

  See, we call you, hands entwined,
    Standing at our door,
  With the glowing hearth behind
    And the wood before. 
    Thence, where you are lurking,
  Back we bring you, bring and bind
    With our magic’s working.

  Lo, our best we give for cess,
    Having naught above
  Handsel of our happiness,
    Seizin of our love. 
    Take it then, O fairies! 
  Homely gods that guard and bless,
    Little kindly Lares.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  (5.35 A.M. workman’s train.)

Bill. “’ULLO, ’ERB; GOT A JOB, THEN?”

’Erb. “I AIN’T GOIN’ UP TO LON’ON FOR A TANGO LESSON, I GIVE YOU MY WORD.”]

* * * * *

WHAT OUR READERS THINK OF US.

The Daily Express having invited its readers to intimate their opinion of that journal, Mr. Punch decided also to give the grumblers a chance of saying what they think of his production, and he now publishes a typical selection of the letters which have reached him:—­

Sir,—­I gave up your journal many years ago on account of its partisanship, and never read it now.  Only last week I came across a paragraph in my copy which made me throw the paper into the waste-paper basket.

    Yours faithfully,

    VERITAS.

    Sir,—­Why is it you always favour the Tories?

    Yours faithfully,